Life at it's Lo-est
by Fireflies-glow1
Summary: The StarKids are on their next tour. Secrets will come out and romances will blossom! This is a Bropez fanfic, Lauren/Brian. It's rated T because I'm paranoid. I hope you enjoy! Please Review xx
1. Chapter 1

**Hey Guys! This is My first FanFiction, so I don't know how good it's going to be... I hope you like it! Please Review and let me know what you think! I've updated the first chapters on tumblr at fireflies-glow if you wanted to have a look :) Future Chapters will just be uploaded here. Enjoy :)  
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_The blindingly bright spotlights hit her face, illuminating her dazzling features. The room, although filled with hundreds of people fell deadly silent. The echoes of their cheers and screams from just moments ago ringing in her ears. The music starts and murmurs from the excited crowd members float up to her place on stage indicating their recognition of the song. She squints out into the audience smiling bravely out at them. Her cue to sing. She opens her mouth and starts to sing, then stops abruptly. What are the words again? She stares out at the crowd for a moment before looking over at the band. They wear shocked expressions and nod at her, an encouragement to keep singing. The crowd begins to murmur as she tries again, off key. Murmurs from the crowd erupt into louder comments. To shouting. She stands paralyzed to her spot center stage. She glances to the wings where her friends are waiting. They stare worriedly and helplessly out at her. The crowd screams louder and she is once again aware of just how many people there are out there. Images flash before her eyes, alternating between the angry crowd, the band and her friends. The friends she let down. She feels sick. Dizzy. She spins around to see dark shapes running towards her and feels herself falling to the ground as everything goes black…_

Lauren woke abruptly and sprang up in her bed, her eyes wide. Shaking, she looked around the room confused at the odd black figures that surrounded her in place of her usual bedroom furniture. She was up high for some reason, higher than usual and the roof was far too close. She reached her hand out and touched it, breathing a sigh of relief as her eyes adjusted to the darkness around her and she remembered where she was. She looked over at the bed across the narrow hall of the tour bus and recognized its occupant. Brian was sleeping soundly, his back turned to her. Brian. How could she even begin to describe him? He had to be her best guy friend for sure, despite the fact that they constantly bickered and teased one another. She couldn't imagine her life without him, though she would never admit that to his face.

Below him was Joey and below herself, she remembered was the bed that Julia had claimed. Dylan, Walker and Meredith were also in the bus. She lay back down and listened to her friends breathing and smiled to herself. She loved them so much and felt so lucky that they were able to share their fame together. They were on their third Concert tour and their fan base had only continued to grow since the previous year. Despite the success they had experienced with their parody musicals, she still couldn't believe that it was happening to her. It was this group, Team Starkid that had made her so well-known and had given her the many acting opportunities that she now, sometimes took for granted.

She reached under her pillow and found her phone. It was5:07am. Of course it was. She always woke early on tour, having had the experience several times prior. Lauren sat up again and looked around the cramped tour bus once more. She was not in the least bit tired and really wanted to get the day started, but her friends were obviously fast asleep and wouldn't be awake for hours. She turned to her phone again and tapped the Twitter icon. Scrolling down the recent tweets from the people she followed. Bored with what she found, she tweeted " Brian_Holden sounds like a lawn-mower when he sleeps, note to self: alternate sleeping arrangements…#Loudsleeper #Killmenow" and switched it back off again putting it in the pocket of her hoodie. She sighed and looked over at Brian again. Of course, she hadn't heard a sound from him all night, in fact the only reason she knew he was still alive was that she could see his body rise and fall as he slept. Captivated for a moment by his movements, she noticed how calm it made her watching him. It gave her a warm glow inside. The same warm glow she felt each time he laughed at her jokes or smiled at her with his usual big, goofy grin. She couldn't remember ever feeling so close to someone. Although they teased each other all the time, she felt like she could tell him anything. She caught herself smiling at him and chuckled to herself.

_Do you realize how creepy that is? If he had woken up and seen me, I'd never hear the end of it!_

Tearing her eyes away from him she looked at the bed below occupied by Joey and then to Julia. Both were asleep. She grumbled to herself. Why aren't they up yet?!She swung her legs around so they were dangling over the edge of the bed and her feet searched for the ladder. Maybe a jog would speed up time a bit. When she felt the cold metal on her left foot she clambered down trying not to wake her friends. Her tiny feet touched the wooden floor and she swiftly but silently made her way past her friends to where her shoes were. Several years of ballet training had made her exceptionally light on her feet. She snatched up her sneakers and grabbed a pair of socks from a draw nearby, then headed back past her friends to the other end of the bus. They had arrived at the first City of the tour and were parked in what looked to be a large park.

She quietly opened the bus door and slipped outside. The air was bitterly cold but she smiled and breathed in the fresh air. She sat herself on the ground and put on her socks and shoes. The other bus was parked right beside theirs and she wondered if anyone was awake yet. It was still dark out so it was unlikely. She walked around examining her surroundings as best as one could in the dark. She always felt active after waking up, and with a small glance back at the bus she took off at a run.

Brian moaned as he felt his phone vibrate underneath his pillow. Ignoring it he rolled over burying his face in his pillow. It vibrated again what felt like two seconds later. Groaning he reluctantly opened his eyes and grabbed hold of the small black phone. A message was glaring up at him and the bright light cut through the dark room stinging his eyes. He blinked trying to help them adjust to the light.

1 message Twitter. _Ugh I should not have gotten that alert thing on my phone_ he grumbled to himself. He opened the message. _" Brian_Holden sounds like a lawn-mower when he sleeps, note to self: alternate sleeping arrangements…#Loudsleeper #Killmenow"-Lauren Lopez_. He smiled at his phone and glanced over to the bed where she had been sleeping. He sighed. Already up! She was always on the go. Her energy shocked him sometimes. He looked back down at his phone. _Tweeted at 5:12am._ This was early, even for Lauren._ " LaurenLopez1 like you would know! You're dead to the world when you sleep! You'd sleep through WW3. #thesleepingdead – then you'd go for a jog"_ He loved teasing her just as much as she loved teasing him. She was one of his best friends and even though he made fun of her, she was the most talented person he knew. She had this ability to become a character in an instant and have an audience crying with laughter. She didn't care about appearance or what other people thought of her, although she was probably the most beautiful person he had ever seen. She oozed confidence and flare. It was one of the many things he loved about her.

He looked over at her vacant bed once more before sitting up and looking around the room. All of the others were still sound asleep. _I don't blame them it's five thirty._ He climbed out of bed and made his way over to the kitchen area, taking a seat at the table. His phone vibrated again. 1 message Lolo. He smiled at the sight of her nickname and opened the text.

_"Bri you're up! FINALLY! (B. , I would sooo not sleep through WW3! I would know, you're about as loud as a machine gun so I've had practice)" _

_"Whatever you say Lo ;) Where are you?" _

_"…went for a jog :P Meet me outside with snacks in 10?" _

_"Alright :)"_

Brian smiled at himself and quietly rummaged through the overhead cabinets collecting some chocolate-chip cookies and making two cups of coffee. He had admitted to himself almost a year ago that he liked Lauren. He had never told her because he treasured their friendship too much. Lauren made him feel like no one else had done before. His stomach flipped when she touched him. His heart glowed with warmth when she smiled. She had such a beautiful smile. Her laugh was almost as magical as her voice. Not love though, just a crush. That's it, nothing more. And it will pass soon enough. But when he stepped outside and saw the small girl running towards him he questioned that with all his heart.


	2. Chapter 2

Lauren ran up to Brian smiling brightly, but becoming suddenly aware that she was still in the tracksuit pants and jumper she had slept in and her bed hair was messy enough to house a small family of birds. She braced herself for a snide remark from Brian but it never came.

"Thanks" She said taking the coffee he had handed to her. "Did you bring any-YUUUMMM!" She exclaimed taking a chocolate chip cookie.

"Nice run?" Brian asked casually.

"Yeah" She breathed puffing slightly. "The others up yet?"

"Naah. You were up early this morning. Couldn't sleep?"

"Yer, well…yer." It was true, she'd been having trouble sleeping for the past few weeks now, but it had been for the same reason. She kept having dreams about the tour. No one knew this, not even Brian, but she got really bad stage fright. She could usually hide it pretty well, but it had been getting worse. There was much more expectation now than there was before. The hype for this tour in particular had put fans in a craze. There were constant tweets, messages, and emails, all exclaiming how excited they were and how great the show was going to be. She wasn't sure that she would be able to live up to such high expectations. Every dream consisted of her forgetting her words, messing up her dances or screwing up her parts in their new arrangements, all of which ended with her getting booed off the stage, her friends attempting to settle the crowd down. Just thinking of it was making her feel sick._Yer, but they are just dreams. It's not real…but what if they come true? What if I trip or mess up or lose my voice in the middle of a song? Then what?_ She pictured herself standing in the middle of the stage not able to make a sound. All of those people paying to see her perform beginning to shout, demanding refunds. She would cry out trying to apologize, but wouldn't be heard over their screams. She started to panic desperately thinking of a way, any way to get out of performing that night, when her thoughts were interrupted by Brian's voice.

"Lolo are you okay?" He was staring right at her with a concerned expression. It took her a moment to realize that she had started shaking again and started to tear up. She had become so emotionally wound up in the memory of her dream that she had become oblivious to reality, and now that she had started, she couldn't stop. She was used to acting strong, and happy, and energetic but it felt good to cry and let out the emotions that had been bottled up for the past month.

Brian stared at her,confused and worried. _Oh My God what happened?_ He took her in his arms and hugged her tightly, letting her cry into his shoulder. She was so small in his arms but seemed to fit perfectly. He stroked the back of her head, unsure how they had gotten to that situation or what had made Lo so upset.

"Lo… Lo did someone hurt you?" Brian blurted out thinking of the worst case scenario. _If someone has I'll kick their ass-_

"No" Lauren shook her head and hugged him tighter. She was starting to feel better already, just being held by Brian. She realized how comfortable she felt in his arms. How nice it felt being close to him. Brian sighed in relief.

"Then…what happened?"

Lauren sighed. She felt so stupid. _Look at yourself! Crying like a baby over such a stupid little thing! No one else is carrying on like this…_ She looked up at Brian and into his blue eyes.

"Um…It's…really stupid I guess…" She wasn't sure she wanted to discuss it, but the look of concern etched on Brian's face convinced her to continue. "I… before a show… before every show I get… really, really nervous. I feel like I want to be sick… I can usually pull myself out of it but lately, there's just so much pressure and everyone is expecting the show to be amazing and I don't think I can reach their expectations… I don't think I can do it…" She started to cry again, desperately trying to hold in her tears but the more she resisted the more she cried.

Brian looked down at her in amazement and pulled her in for another hug. "Lo…you are the most talented person I know. You are loved by so many people. You have no idea the effect you have on everyone! You are perfect for every role you have ever played. The fans adore you. We are all so proud of you. I'm proud to be your best friend Lo. How can you not see how amazing you are?"

Lauren pulled away so she could look at his face. A small smile grew across her face, despite her efforts to hold it back. "You really think that much of me?"

Brian looked back at her in shock. "Of course I do! And I know for a fact that you can do this tonight" he said wiping the tears from her cheek.

"I don't know Bri…"

"Lolo. You can do it. I know you can, Do you remember our first performance in SPACE Tour? Remember how much fun we had? How amazing it felt to be on stage? It's gonna be all that and more tonight Lopez."

"Sorry" she said putting her head down. "It's really stupid…"

"No, no it's not stupid Lo. We're all nervous, but we're in this together and we're here for each other. The hard part is always getting started"

Lauren smiled up at him."Thanks Brian"

Brian gave her another hug before realizing he had dropped his coffee some point during the scene.

It was weird seeing her like that. Like seeing a whole new side to her. She has always acted so strong and in control, but the fact that she had trusted him enough to share her fears like that gave him a warm feeling through his body. At a brief moment of weakness he kissed her on the head before releasing her, freaking out internally and casually complaining about his spilled coffee as he headed back inside to make another one.

Lauren giggled distractedly at him as he climbed back into the bus. She was thinking of the kiss. She didn't mind, her friends were so close and so comfortable with each other and kissed and hugged each other all the time. Only this time it felt different. He'd kissed her before, but never so soft. Never so meaningful. Perhaps she was looking too much into it. _You're still emotional, not thinking clearly. It was just a friendly peck, nothing more._


	3. Chapter 3

Brian was busy in the small kitchen on the bus when Lauren slipped in and sat down at the table. He was thinking back to a few moments before. Why had he done that? Why had he kissed her? He glanced over at her. She was playing on her phone. Concentration and determination fixed on her face; a small crease had formed on her forehead. She was perfect. _What if she freaked out? What if she feels really awkward around me now?_ Brian groaned to himself. He didn't want to risk their friendship for something like this. He would just have to let these feelings go. _There's no way anything would come from them. It's just going to cause pain and probably destroy our friendship. I've got to let her go… but, she could like me back, I haven't let her know…no, why would she? Look at her, why would she fall for someone like me?_

"What time is it?" He asked quietly, wary of his still sleeping friends.

"Ugh geez thanks Bri! Lost me my high score!" She exclaimed, glaring at him playfully.

"You'll just have to face the fact that there is no way you'll ever beat my high score Lopez" He grinned at her as she stuck her small tongue out at him.

"It's like ten past six!" She said in exasperation "Seriously I think they've slept long enough! I've been up for ages."

Brian wasn't sure what she meant by this but he saw a glint in her eye. The same one she got when she was excited about something or scheming another mischievous way to annoy the crap out of everyone. It was a look that through the years he had become quite aware of, for his own sake. Before he could say anything to her she had already made her way to the other end of the bus and was rummaging through her bags. She emerged from the back room seconds later with a massive water gun. Where she had gotten it, Brian had no idea, but laughed as she took on the character of "Taz", from their fourth musical, Starship. She assessed her options then looked to Brian.

"I may need backup"

"Walker's gonna kill you… and I don't have a gun…" He said.

"He'll kill me if he can catch me, which is unlikely" She said with an evil grin. "I have another one in the back"

When Brian returned with the other, slightly smaller water gun, they took aim.

"Que Pasa you piece of shit!" Lauren screamed and her friends were attacked with a sudden surge of icy cold water. Julia and Dylan had woken with a start and moaned as they realized what was happening, then started to laugh hysterically. Joey had woken suddenly and rolled onto the floor in an attempt to get out of the firing range. Meredith had jumped out of bed away from Brian's range of fire but tripped over Joey who was still on the floor. Walker tripped over the pair of them, screaming profanities at Lauren as she laughed maniacally, still shooting the group with water. Joe struggled to his feet untangling himself from the pathetic pile that consisted of Joey and Meredith. He advanced on Lauren fighting against the surge of water that was now striking him in the face.

"Lauren, you're gonna want to hope there's a lot of water left in that gun" He shouted.

Brian, along with the rest, was watching the scene now. Lauren giggled nervously. She hadn't thought this through very well. She was running out of water and Joe wasn't the happiest in the mornings. She started to back away looking around for anything that could get her out of this situation. She came to the door of the bus and before Joe could take another step forward she had slid it open and dived out landing, ninja style, on the ground. The others looked on in quiet astonishment. She was so quick and, most likely assisted by her tiny frame, could get out of any situation. The door was barely opened. Joe, after a moment of shock, climbed out of the bus after her. Joey and Meredith, still on the floor, were helping each other up and laughing at their sopping wet friends. Brian had followed Joe outside; curious to see the events unfold, closely followed by the others. Lauren was running around still shooting her remaining water at Joe who, although fast and athletic, was no match for her speed and agility. Brian laughed at his friends. They looked hilarious and although Joe was obviously annoyed, even he couldn't help but laugh at Lauren as she shouted back at him, maintaining her persona of Taz.

"You are weak now! You're a sad, spayed little puppy!"

Eventually Lauren ran out of water and Joe had caught her and started tackling her. Meredith, Joey and Dylan ran over and stacked on top of them.

"No! She'll suffocate! She's only small!" Julia screamed over the top of the loud bouts of laughter coming from the center of the small oval, running over to the pile of her friends now stacked on top of the tiny girl. Brian followed her and helped pull people off of Lauren. She pulled a face at them from the ground and started laughing hysterically with the rest of them. Their friends from the other bus had begun to emerge to investigate the loud shouts.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Clark shouted as he made his way towards the group followed by Jaime, Denise, Liam, Corey, Charlene and Joe Moses.

"We heard you guys screaming! Is everything okay?" Jaime asked, rubbing her eyes.

"Lauren. Just Lauren" Joey said shaking his head.

Lauren giggled at the look of her friends now sopping wet. "Seriously, you guys were taking sooooooo long to GET UP! It was just a friendly, light-hearted wake-up call."

Brian helped her to her feet as the others made their way back to their appropriate buses.

"You got off lucky this time" He said with a wink.

"I don't know what you're talking about" She replied smiling cheekily.

"Yeah, well I'd watch it, cuz Walker doesn't usually let these things go"

"Why the concern Bri?" she asked punching him in the arm and running back to the bus.

"Yeah Brian, why the concern?" came a voice from behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

Brian spun around to see Joey grinning at him. _Aw Crap._

"Well? Why the concern?" Joey repeated.

"No reason Bro" He said in an attempt to brush it off.

"Oh really? That's not what it looked like to me" Joey said smiling even wider.

Brian groaned. _This is just what I need. As soon as I make the decision to forget about my feelings, Joey finds out. It's like some hideous twist of fate._

"It's nothing, it's all good" he said avoiding Joey's eyes.

"No it's not. We've been friends for I don't know how long, I know when something's up" Joey watched his face for a reaction.

"I'm trying to forget about it" Brian said, turning and starting to walk away.

"Forget what? Your feelings for Lopez?"

Brian stopped and spun around to look at Joey. "I don't know what-"

"Oh my God it's so obvious!" Joey cut him off, laughing.

Brian groaned again._ SHIT! What if everyone knows?! Or worse, what if Lopez knows about how I feel about her!? What if she has known all this time, but didn't want to say anything cuz she didn't want to hurt me? CRAP! Now I've made it all weird not only for me and Lo, but for everyone else! How could I let this happen? Why did I have to like Lauren? Out of all the girls in the world, why her? But… how could it not be her? _He remembered how he comforted her earlier that morning and how it felt so good to have her in his arms. He pictured her in his mind, with her light brown hair, small frame, big, beautiful, brown eyes…he couldn't understand why every man on earth wasn't crazy about her.

His thoughts were interrupted by Joey's laughing.

"Chill out dude, I don't think she knows"

"You just said it was obvious! Who else knows?" Brian was beginning to panic now.

"Whoa Jesus Holden calm down! So you've got a thing for Lauren. No judging here man! I think Dylan knows, and I may have had a brief conversation to Meredith about it during rehearsal, but that's it! It's just obvious in the way you're always looking at her. Mer agrees with me."

"Does Lauren Know?"

"Jesus! I don't know what the girl's thinking, do I? You're not as obvious when you're with her, that's all I know. But you said you were trying to forget about it? Why?"

"I don't want things to get weird you know? We have a great friendship and I don't want to ruin it, that's all."

"What makes you think she won't like you back?" Joey asked in a more serious tone.

"I….Uh… this conversation is getting kind of weird…" Brian said awkwardly.

Joey looked at him indignantly. "You know, I was talking to Meredith and she said that she shares **everything **with the girls. They all do and apparently, it brings them closer together."

"Okay, okay don't get all feminine on me Joe. I guess I class myself a little out of her league."

Joey looked at him expectantly and Brian sighed, looked around and elaborated

"She's just so…perfect, and I'm….not"

Joey looked at him eyes wide. "You don't just _like_ her do you?"

"I don't know Joey…"

"You're a nice enough guy Brian, why wouldn't she like you? You haven't told her how you feel."

"I guess… but-"

"Are you gonna tell her?"

"I don't-"

"Are you gonna tell anyone else?"

"Probably not-"

"Can I tell Mer-?"

"JOEY! I think this conversation is over" Brian said heading back to the bus and leaving him standing in the oval.

_Interesting… the girls share __**everything.**__ Everything… SHIT! Meredith knows!_

Lauren had been preparing pancakes for her bus in an attempt to apologize to Joe. She knew he would never hurt her but he was great at debasing people and she didn't deal well with humiliation. The kitchen on the bus was small and only had the bare essentials, but worked fine for what she needed. She laughed as she played over her friends' reactions in her head. _That was so much fun. _On trips like these, she considered it her job to annoy the shit out of everyone, and usually succeeded with everyone, except Brian. He would usually just tease her back. She looked out the window and saw Joey and Brian talking in the middle of the oval. It wasn't the usual pushing each other around and tackling each other that was the norm with most if not all of her guy friends. It looked serious. She was wondering what they could be talking about when Meredith came over and began helping her clean up the mess. Lauren took her eyes off Brian and Joey and noticed that she was looking at her.

"What?" She asked looking around her to see what Meredith could be staring at.

"Nothing" Meredith said smiling and going back to cleaning up.

Lauren frowned. She HATED being left in the dark. She grabbed Meredith's arm and pulled her around so that they were facing each other. "What?" She asked again.

"I just think it's cute that's all." She said giggling to herself.

Lauren was getting frustrated. "What's cute?"

"You…"

"Why? Because I'm small?! Mer that joke is getting REALLY old…"

"No! You and Brian"

"What? What about me and Brian?"

"Well, a moment ago, watching him and Joey talking. You also hang out heaps, you were partners in crime this morning and you guys are just really cute together" She replied smiling at the small girl.

"Bri and I are just really close…" Lauren said, slightly embarrassed. What was Meredith implying?

"Okay, okay… just an observation."

They were silent for a few moments whilst Lauren pondered what Meredith had said. Curiosity overpowering her, she asked "What do you mean by_ cute together_?"

"Just that I think you guys would make a cute couple I guess."

Lauren looked around to see if anyone else was listening. She could feel her cheeks heating up into a blush. Meredith's eyes suddenly widened. "You _like_ him don't you!"

"Shhh!" Lauren hissed, although she wasn't sure why. "Brian's my Best friend, nothing more." She replied in a denying tone.

"But do you want it to be more?" Meredith watched Lauren closely.

"I… I don't know! This is all really random Mer…Why are you bringing this up?" Lauren's face was bright red now and she, for the first time, felt really uncomfortable talking to Meredith.

"It's just that-" Meredith had begun, but she was cut short by a frantic Brian who had just come through the door.

"Meredith can I talk to you for a sec" He asked quickly, not looking at Lauren, which was fine as she was making herself extra busy so she didn't have to say anything to him.

"Um…" Meredith glanced back at Lauren, noticing the small girl had been drying an unused frying pan for the past five minutes. "Yeah sure"

Lauren watched the pair of them exit the bus once more and watched them walking on the oval through the window from her spot in the small kitchen space on board. She wondered what they could be talking about. Once again, it looked pretty serious, but before she could even imagine what their topic could be, her mind moved on to another, more pressing matter. She thought about the things Meredith had said about her and Brian. _Do I like him? Do I want to be more than friends? _She had never really thought about her and Brian as a couple before. She didn't know what she felt or what she wanted. _Cute? A cute couple? Brian and Me….Me and Bri. _What did it matter if she did or didn't like him? _Guys like him don't want girls like me. They don't want tiny girls with messy hair; too small to do anything for themselves. They like Beautiful girls. Beautiful women. Women like… like Meredith._ Lauren watched Brian and Meredith talking together. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but there was something about the scene before her that rubbed her up the wrong way. _That's the type of person Brian would go for._

Joey who had actually followed Brian back to the bus was sitting at the table and had been watching her.

"You right there Lolo?" he asked her genuinely. She jumped at his voice but turned to smile at him.

"Yeah why wouldn't I be?"

"You're just a little quieter than usual."

"I'm fine Richter"

Was she fine? She looked back outside and felt a strange pain in her heart. What was she doing? Meredith and Brian weren't together. He would have told her. And it's not like she was always alone. She'd had boyfriends before. _And look how they turned out…_ was she maybe not girlfriend material? Always the buddy, the tag along, fun to be around until a real woman came into the picture?

"Where are the others?" Joey asked.

"In the back watching TV and eating pancakes. You want these last few?"

"Have you eaten yet?"

"Yes" Lauren lied she hadn't eaten anything, but she was no longer hungry.

Joey took the remaining pancakes and made his way down to the back room of the bus, passing Julia on the way. Julia stopped short and looked at Lauren. "Lo are you okay?"

Lauren looked at her friend and sighed. "I'm not sure…"


	5. Chapter 5

Several hours had gone by since the Starkids had woken that morning. Lauren had expressed her thoughts to Julia. Julia was and had been her best friend since their first year of college. They still shared an apartment back in Chicago. She felt like she could trust Julia with anything in the world.

"Lo, I can tell you now that there is nothing going on between Mer and Brian, so don't worry about that."

"What do you mean? How do you know?"

"Meredith and Joey sooo have a thing it's not even funny! It's so obvious!"

She had actually noticed this. They were very cute together. They hung out heaps and looked so happy together. Her mind was making a little more sense now.

"As for the whole Brian issue, sweetie, I can't tell you what to feel. You have to figure it out for yourself. But Lauren, don't for a moment think that you're not worth anything, okay? You are such an amazing person, any guy would be lucky to have you."

Lauren sighed, tearing up again. "Thanks Jules."

Brian had approached Meredith about His feelings for Lauren. She promised that she would never have told Lauren about his feelings.

"Good because I'd prefer if everyone just forgot about it and we all went back to normal."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I'm trying to get over her, and I'd appreciate no one else finding out about this okay?" Brian said.

"Wait, don't do that! You have to tell her!"

"It'll only make things awkward for everyone. I'm telling you, it's just a crush, it's no big deal! Promise you'll just let it go Mer okay? And you can tell Joey that as well."

And with that he had left her and headed back inside to, finally, get ready for the day.

The day flew by quickly. Way too quickly for Lauren's taste. It meant there was only 2 hours remaining until their big opening show for the concert tour. Although Brian's comforting had instilled a new sense of confidence in her, she felt the nerves creeping back.

The rehearsal had gone perfectly, and the lights and Microphones were all set and organized. As the show grew closer, Lauren tried to keep herself busy in order to keep her mind off of the nerves. She hadn't spoken to Brian since that morning. It wasn't awkward, everyone had been really busy, but she still wasn't sure what she thought about the two of them being together. It was weird to suddenly think of a best friend in that way.

The team were preparing in the dressing rooms back stage of the venue. Jaime was curling Lauren's hair whilst she was braiding Denise's.

"Where's Mer?" Denise asked from her spot on the ground in front of Lauren.

"She said she was going to see Joey" Jaime said casually.

Denise giggled. "Of course…"

"What do you mean by that?" Jaime asked confused.

"You can't honestly say you haven't noticed something is going on between them?"

"No, not really, I thought they were just good friends."

"Come on Jaime really? Lauren Please tell me you agree!"

Lauren hadn't really been listening. Everything was beginning to go hazy in her mind. In less than an hour, she would be on stage.

"I guess so" she said distractedly

"I always thought there was something between her and Brian though" Jaime said in a quieter tone.

"Yeah actually that's true!" Denise said in an excited whisper, turning to face the other two, her hairstyle now complete. "Did you see them this morning? They had a secret little D'n'M in the oval?"

Lauren was listening now.

"I don't think there's anything going on between them… Brian would've told me" she said in a small voice.

"Well, what could they have been talking about?" Jaime said. "There's definitely something going on that they're not telling us"

Lauren could feel her cheeks heating up again. She shook her head defiantly, "No we tell each other everything, he would've told me" she said again, louder than intended.

"Jeez Lo calm down! What's it matter? No need to get so emotional!" Denise said.

"Maybe he felt awkward telling us, even you, because of how close we all are you know? Maybe he thought it would make things weird." Jaime suggested. "Alrighty Lolo I think you're done gorgeous!"

Lauren stood up from her perch in the chair, mumbled a small thankyou and left the room leaving Denise and Jaime staring after her a little confused.

_Maybe he wouldn't have told me… maybe they are secretly together…the fans certainly think so! What do they call them? Breredith? _Lauren made a face at the thought of it. _What a stupid name! _**(A/N nothing against you Breredith shippers. I love you all.)** But why would Meredith have said those things to her that morning if she was with him?

Lauren was deep in thought and didn't see the person walking towards her. They collided and she fell to the ground looking around stunned. The hallway was dark and her eyes had not yet adjusted to the lack of light.

"Oh God sorry Lo!" came Brian's voice from the darkness. She could see the general outline of his body. She felt him grab her hands and pull her back to her feet.

"Are you okay? You looked like you were in a hurry" He asked her. Her eyes were adjusting now and she could see his face better. He looked so handsome.

"Yeah, no I'm alright. Where were you going?" She asked trying to make her voice sound as normal as possible.

"Uh… I was looking for you actually. I just wanted to make sure you were feeling okay, and if you needed anyone to talk to." Brian said softly.

Lauren felt a warm glow in her heart and felt her face blush. "Thank you Bri." Her voice was shaking and she had just remembered that she was in fact, about to go onstage in several minutes time. "I could use a hug"

Brian smiled and held her in a tight embrace. He could feel her shaking. She looked gorgeous. Her hair was styled in brilliant curls that framed her face. He loosened his grip a little and looked into her big brown eyes.

"Lo, you are going to rock out tonight. I know it. The fans are going to love it no matter what! Plus if anyone's gonna stuff up it'll be Walker okay?"

Lauren giggled. "Thanks Bri". She stood on her toes so she could reach his cheek and kissed it. She then remembered what had made her so emotional before and felt embarrassed. _What if Bri and Mer are together? Not only would that be embarrassing for me but put them in an awkward situation as well._ Lauren looked at her feet and mumbled "Bri? Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, of course you can Lo" he said looking at her curiously.

"It's really random…"

"I've had a lot of that today, I can handle it"

"I was just…. reading some stuff online…. and I was just curious" she said as casually as possible. "You know how the fans 'ship' us to each other?"

"Yeah that is so funny!" He said laughing.

"Yeah… well I saw a fair few talking about you and Mer… I was just wondering if there was anything going on between you two?"

Brian looked at her shocked. "Me and Meredith?" He couldn't believe she was asking this! I mean, Mer was a close friend of his but that's all there has been and will ever be between them.

"Jaime and Denise were talking about it too. They saw the conversation you had this morning on the oval." She looked up from her feet and was staring right at him. Brian froze. _Shit! Do they know what we were talking about? Who else was watching? What do I say to Lo? _He was about to respond, but his pause answered her question for him.

"It's just that I thought we shared everything with each other. Like this morning when I…" Her voice trailed off. How could Brian keep this from her? She told him everything! Things that no one else knew about. She was always honest with him, why couldn't he do the same? And why had Meredith said those things that morning if they were secretly together? She supposed it was a good cover up, but why would she have gone to that much trouble to keep her in the dark?

"No it's not like that Lo seriously!" Brian said as he could see the hurt in her eyes.

"What is it then? What were you talking about? It looked pretty deep from where I was standing"

"I….I can't tell you…" Brian mumbled, kicking himself once it had left his mouth.

"Oh I see! Fine. Don't tell me!" Lauren said raising her voice.

"Lo please listen, you know I'd tell you everything! There's no need to get so worked up!"He replied beginning to raise his own voice

Lauren looked him deeper in the eyes. "If you tell me _everything_, why can't you tell me about this morning?!"

"I…..why does it mean so much to you if me and Meredith are seeing each other or not!" Brian yelled in retaliation. "Why do you need to know?! IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHAT I'M SAYING TO MEREDITH! STOP BEING SO GOD DAMN NOSY!"

Shocked at his sudden outburst Lauren felt tears welling up in her eyes. Brian was sarcastic and subtle. He never yelled in anger. She'd never seen him like that. What's worse, he had asked the one question that she had been asking herself through the whole ordeal, and she didn't know the answer.

Julia burst through a door nearby with a clipboard in her hands and saw the two of them standing there.

"Guys we're on in fiftee- LAUREN WHY AREN'T YOU DRESSED?!" She had come face to face with the pair of them now.

"Sorry Jules" Lauren said in a voice tinier than she was and ran to her dressing room to get ready, letting the tears fall down her cheeks.

Julia stared after her, concerned. "I didn't mean to make her upset! I'm just really stressed… you know how I get." She looked at Brian lost for words.

"It's not you Julia, don't worry" He said, turning and walking back to his dressing room leaving a stressed, concerned and slightly confused Julia staring after him.


	6. Chapter 6

Brian sat on the couch in the guy's dressing room. "Shit" he said quietly to himself. He regretted that entire conversation he had with Lauren. Why didn't he just tell her how he felt then and there? It was the perfect opportunity to get things out in the open. _Because I didn't have the balls to._ His gut tightened as he remembered her face when he shouted at her. Shocked, scared. Scared of him? _But why did she care so much? Why does it matter? UGH I'm such an Asshole. She was probably just curious! I would certainly want to know if she was seeing someone, especially if it was someone in our group, but I suppose my reasoning would be a little different from hers._

"Dude why the long face?" Came Walker's voice from the doorway as he entered the room followed by Mark, Corey, Liam, Clark and Dylan.

"I don't know what you could be referring to…" Brian said with a sigh.

The guys looked at each other in confusion. Brian was usually hyped up before a concert.

"What's up man?" Dylan asked and sat on the chair in front of the couch.

"I'm fine! Seriously guys, I guess I'm nervous…"

"You're never nervous…" said Corey

"You're usually jumping off the walls by now." Mark added.

"Chill guys I'm fine, it's all good. I got up early this morning; I'm still a bit tired." Brian said trying to brush them off. Joey came into the room now and stopped at the sight of his friends crowded together.

"Everything alright in here?" He asked looking around.

"Yes! Now can we let it go?!" Brian said in exasperation.

"I'm glad we're good in here, because I don't think the girls are…" Joey said still looking at Brian.

"Why? What happened" The others asked looking concerned.

"I passed Jaime on my way here and she said that Lauren left in a hurry, mid-conversation a few minutes ago, and passing their room I think I heard someone crying… I'm not sure though." Joey said looking around at his friends and glancing over to Brian again.

"Who was it?" Mark asked.

"I don't know. I didn't go in… I'm not good with that sort of thing"

"Ugh dude you should've just gone in there!" Joe Walker said.

"I wouldn't know what to say! Girls are emotional at the best of times, worse when they're all teary…." Joey replied defensively.

"What do we do?" Corey asked.

"What can we do? We're about to go on in like ten minutes…" Dylan said.

"What's going on?" Came a voice from behind the group of guys who had all begun to chatter worriedly amongst themselves.

"So it obviously wasn't Meredith" said Walker after seeing her standing in the doorway. "That leaves Denise and Lopez"

"We don't even know if it was someone crying…" Joey said to them before turning to Meredith. "I thought I heard one of you girls crying in your dressing room."

"The only one in there at the moment is Lauren…" Meredith replied looking around at the anxious faces of all the boys.

Joe looked over at Brian, noticing he hadn't said anything. "Did you guys have another fight?"

The guys stopped to look at Brian as well and he looked up at them still seated on the couch. The guys knew how close the two of them were, but also knew how strong-willed each of them were. Brian and Lauren didn't have serious fights all that often, but when they did, it would usually be pretty big and would usually last a long time.

"Guys, I'll go and check on her, don't worry I'm sure everything's fine." Meredith said leaving the room which burst into worried chattering again.

Brian put his head in his hands. _Shit, what have I done? _

Lauren sat in the bathroom of the girl's dressing room and looked into the mirror. She was a mess. Her makeup was smudged down her face and her eyes were red and puffy. At least she was dressed. She loved her outfit, but for some reason it felt tighter than it did during their dress rehearsal earlier that day. She wanted to get back into her jumper and tracksuit pants and go to bed. She wanted to stay there and cry into her pillow until she had no more tears to cry, but she couldn't. They would be onstage in less than ten minutes. However, this thought didn't scare her as much as it did before. She didn't care how she performed tonight. She just wanted to make up with Brian. He got so mad all of a sudden. So defensive. She felt like an idiot running off sobbing like that. _Real dignified._ A knock suddenly came from the other side of the bathroom door.

"Lauren? Lo are you in there?" Came Meredith's voice. Lauren wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone right now, especially Meredith, but answered knowing that she would come in any way to check.

"Yeah I'm here." She said hurriedly attempting to fix up her makeup before she walked in, but to no avail.

Meredith opened the door slightly and peeped in. "Is it alright if I come in?" Lauren nodded and she slipped in and closed the door softly.

She looked at Lauren and almost began to cry herself. "Oh Lo, what happened?"

Lauren who had momentarily stopped crying started to sob uncontrollably again. Meredith ran over to her and wrapped her arms around her in a tight hug. "It's about Brian, isn't it?"

Lauren let go of her and looked at her. "Why would you say that? I don't care about him. It's not like I'm not in love with him."

"I never said you were… I was just in the guys' room. Joey overheard someone crying in here and I noticed Brian looked upset as well. They're really concerned." She said sitting on the lid of the toilet close to the chair occupied by the still sobbing Lauren. "What happened?"

"We had a fight" she answered looking at the floor.

"What about?" Meredith asked.

"You." She mumbled.

"Me? What about me?" Meredith asked looking confused.

Lauren Sighed heavily. "Denise and Jaime were talking about you and Joey, but Jaime said that she thought you and Bri had something going on. I asked him about it and he didn't answer me. I was sure it wasn't true, because we share everything with each other and you said all those things this morning about me and him. But I guess I was wrong. I told him I saw you both in the oval and that your conversation seemed really serious. He lied right to my face. It was so obvious that he was hiding something. I guess I started to raise my voice a little and he shouted back at me. It shocked me and then Julia came and said we had like ten minutes to be ready. I just can't understand why you would say stuff like that; make me think like there was some chance that there was something between…. All to cover up a secret relationship you had with him from the beginning." Lauren glared up at her and noticed that Meredith was blushing. "So it's true isn't it? You and Bri?"

"No…. but me and Joey is true" she said sheepishly avoiding Lauren's eyes.

"Wait… what?"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but we thought it would be awkward and a bit weird for everyone, so we were waiting for the right time to tell everyone." She looked back at Lauren and was shocked to see the small girl smiling at her.

"OH MY GOD THIS IS CRAY-CRAY! WHEEEEENNNN?!" Lauren shouted excitedly.

"Um… about three weeks ago… we kissed-"

"OH MY GOD! You guys are sooo adorable!" She said grabbing Meredith into a dangerously tight hug.

"Okay, okay! Before you choke me Lo! Seriously you thought me and Brian?"

"Yeah… I feel kind of stupid now… but he was still definitely hiding something and refused to tell me what you guys were talking about…" Lauren looked at Meredith inquiringly.

"Uh… yeah he had approached me about me and Joey and….um…. I told him the truth, and made him promise not to say anything, so I guess he was trying to honor his word…" She lied, but Lauren seemed to have bought it.

"Oh God that totally makes sense!" She said. "Poor Brian… No wonder he shouted at me…"

"Umm, still don't mention it to him or anyone else though, okay? I don't want anyone else to find out yet and Joey doesn't even know that you guys know"

"Okay" Lauren said smiling and turned back to the mirror and began to tear up again. "I look like shit and we're on in like two minutes!"

"Shhh, it's okay Lo, I'll help."


	7. Chapter 7

The stage was set, dark and covered with a layer of haze from the fog machines. Mark, Clark and a few others were already onstage. Brian was in the left stage wings. He was the first to go onstage and Lauren the second. The very first song started with the two of them, although he hadn't seen her since she had ran off crying. He had no idea if she was even coming on stage. He could hear the cheers of the crowd and took in a deep breath. The music started and Brian stepped out onto the dark stage. The spotlight hit him and he was greeted with the screams of the fans in front of him. He still wasn't used to it. Despite his sarcastic and confident exterior,every time this happened he was still blown away by the support of their fans and the vast quantity of them. He began to sing his part of the song, fans as usual screaming the words along with him. It was coming up to Lauren's part, but the wings were too dark to see from the stage and he couldn't tell if she was there or not. What would he do if she didn't come out? Would Meredith or Jaime take her spot? Would he be left to sing it alone? Just as he thought she wasn't coming out however, she ran onstage smiling brightly and waving at the audience who greeted her with their deafening screams. Brian was relieved to see her, as beautiful as ever. She was amazing. She sang her solo part perfectly and when she finally looked over at him, she smiled and ran over to give him a tight hug. The audience cheered enthusiastically, thinking it was part of the act. They sang their duet part of the song holding hands. Their Harmonies were in perfect pitch, and slowly the rest of the group made their way onstage to join them for their appropriate parts in the song. The rest of the first half of the concert continued without a hitch. The team came running offstage hugging, laughing and crying all at once.

"Definitely one of our best shows yet!" Joey said excitedly hugging Meredith as she came offstage. Now that Lauren knew about the two of them it was SO obvious! Lauren looked around and spotted Brian high-fiving Clark and Walker and ran over to them. Walker offered her a high-five which she accepted excitedly.

"MAN that was AWESOME!" he shouted and ran over with Clark to Jaime and Dylan. Brian smiled at Lauren and they hugged each other.

"You were amazing Lolo" He said softly.

"You were too" she said "A little pitchy at times but I'm not here to judge" she added grinning cheekily at him.

Brian pulled a face and they both started laughing. She wasn't sure how to apologize especially since she wasn't meant to mention Meredith and Joey, and didn't want to answer the question he had asked her, so she just acted as normal, hoping he wouldn't bring it up. And he didn't. He was just as happy to let it go. Lauren's face when he yelled at her had just about broken him; he didn't want to have to go through that again. It was obvious that these feelings he had for Lauren would only cause problems. They wouldn't have fought like that if he hadn't spoken to Meredith about them in the first place.

The next half of the show was even better than the first half. The new arrangements of their songs were accepted with excitement and awe by the many fans in the audience and the skits in between performances were witty and funny, as usual. When the finale was over and the venue erupted in cheers, Brian looked over at Lauren. She was blown away by the applause and was smiling and waving out at the crowd. She glanced over at him and their eyes met. She smiled even brighter at him and laughed. Brian smiled back. The Starkids made their way off stage for another round of hugging, laughing and crying. Lauren skipped over to Brian and hugged him tightly.

"Thanks Bri." She said in almost a whisper.

"For what?" He asked her, but returning the hug.

"What you said this morning? How I was going to have the best time tonight? You were right! Tonight was awesome, and I don't know if I would've gone through with it if it wasn't for you"

"I meant every word Lo" He said. "It's all you. You just needed to see it for yourself."

Lauren blushed slightly, beaming up at him. It just showed how much he believed in her.

"Hate to interrupt this little moment, but we have to start packing up." Joey said grinning at Brian as he passed them carrying a large box.

"We literally just finished performing!" said Lauren. "We have time!"

"Not really… we packed the shows in tight this time and if we want to see some of the fans before we leave, we better get this done now" Brian said, grudgingly.

Lauren pouted and battered her eyelids at Brian. "But I'm _tired_"

Joey rolled his eyes smiling to himself as he walked away from his friends. It was so obvious that Brian liked Lauren, and Lauren always seemed happier around him. As he continued down the hallway towards the room where they were temporarily storing the boxes of equipment he saw Meredith talking with Jaime and Julia, and wondered if they had been just as obvious.


	8. Chapter 8

The team packed up their equipment and changed out of their costumes. Although this took almost an hour, when they headed out to the foyer, most of the fans were still waiting for them. Brian smiled at them, taken aback by the sudden explosion of sound when they walked out and the Fans noticed them. How was it that someone like him was to become treated like a Rock-star? He still remembered his reaction to the fan's support for Team StarKid's first musical together. A Very Potter Musical was simply a college production made by a group of friends. They had a blast performing it. It was just them having fun, goofing around. Perhaps that's why it was so popular. He felt so lucky that this fame had come from having the time of his life and doing what he loved with the people he cared most about. The Starkids walked down into the swarm of fans sharing hugs, giving autographs and calling friends of fans that were unable to attend their concert. Brian glanced over at Lauren. She was talking to a group of fans, all taller than her. It wasn't hard to be. She was so small, but that in no way affected her strength and will power. How could he let these feelings for Lauren go if she was always there, so close, so beautiful. Brian's thoughts were interrupted by a voice.

"Sorry… I was just hoping you'd be able to sign this…"

Brian turned to see a girl, around 16, blushing shyly and handing him a pen and their concert Program. He smiled at her and took the pen and program.

"You guys were amazing" she said smiling and watching intently as he signed her program.

"Thanks! What's your name?"

"Sarah…" She said softly.

"Well, thanks Sarah, is that with a or…"

"Yep that's right. Thank you so much!"

"No problem! What did you like the best in the Concert?"

"I don't know, it was all just so amazing…." She said looking at him, her eyes wide with excitement.

"Well if you had to choose one part?"

"Okay, probably the very beginning, where you came out of the mist and then Lauren came out and joined you in what was probably the best duet I have ever heard!"

Bran smiled. That was his favorite part of the performance. It was perfect. They felt so close, so in time, so together that everything that had happened between them didn't matter anymore. In fact nothing else mattered. At that time all he could think about was how perfect they were for each other and how much he wanted her. Brian returned to reality and noticed that Sarah was looking at him smiling. But it wasn't the usual fan smile of admiration, not even a smile some fans wore to stop themselves from crying. It was different, a mixture of triumph, amusement and knowing. Brian felt uneasy. Why was she looking at him like that?

"Thanks so much for signing." She said still smiling at him, her eyes squinted slightly.

At that moment Lauren came over smiling at the pair of them.

"Hey!" She exclaimed excitedly at Sarah.

"Damn it Lauren! Can't you see that Sarah and I are trying to have a civilized conversation! No one shorter than 5'3'' allowed"

Lauren pulled her tongue out at Brian and punched his arm causing him to let out a small yelp of pain. Sarah laughed at the pair of them. Brian noticed she was still wearing that weird smile. Curiosity overpowering his better-judgement, he asked her.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Rubbing his arm where Lauren punched him.

Sarah blushed, a deeper shade of red but her smile remained. "Like what?" she asked innocently but smiling even bigger.

"God leave her alone Brian! She can smile how she wants to!" Lauren said winking at the other girl

"Um, could you sign as well?" Sarah asked hopefully looking at Lauren who smiled and took the pen and program from her.

Brian smiled but let out a fake sigh. "Why are you even here? Don't you have somewhere else to be?" He smiled at Lauren challengingly. This was becoming one of their classic episodes where they would insult each other until one gave up or they were interrupted by something. Lauren thought hard about what to say in response but became distracted, noticing that they were both looking into each other's eyes. She opened her mouth but before she could answer, Sarah let out a small giggle and the pair looked at her.

"What is so funny?" Lauren said jokingly.

"You guys are I guess" Sarah said smiling at Brian. "You'd make a cute couple"

At that last comment a woman, presumably her mom, called Sarah away so she said goodbye clutching her signed program, glancing back and waving at them still smiling, leaving an awkward Brian and Lauren staring after her.

Brian avoided Lauren's eyes, looking around the room, still rubbing his arm. It really did hurt but he would never admit that to her. Lauren was looking down at her feet. She felt her face heating up, and she didn't want Brian to see her blushing. The fight had left things a little unresolved between them and that topic wasn't one that she felt like discussing.

"For your information" she said as normal as possible, after the longest few moments of her life, "I came over because Julia said that we have to start getting people out and getting ready to leave."

Relieved that they had an excuse to leave the awkward situation behind them, they began ushering people out which still took almost another hour until all of the fans had gone.

"Guys, before we go I just want to say how proud I am of all of you" Julia said tearing up, as she usually did after a show. "It's really just amazing to see how you guys have grown and improved since 'A very potter Musical'." At this point she had started crying and Lauren had run over, locking her in a tight hug. "I'm so honored to have been a part of it".

"You organized all of this Jules! We couldn't have done it without you!" Lauren said wiping the tears from her best friend's cheek.

The group Huddled in close for a group hug and Walker yelled "Let's make tomorrow night just as good!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi there Guys! I Just wanted to say how totally amazed I am by your support! I didn't think people would actually read this, never mind actually liking it! Thank you SO much to everyone who reviewed It means so much to hear what you have to say! Next chapters will be posted very soon!**

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The tour continued; each show just as good as the last. Everyone had gotten pretty tired by now, all except Lauren who, not surprising to any of them, seemed to be as energetic as ever. Like each show was giving her a new dose of adrenaline to run off. The Starkids moved on to a different city every night until they finally came to their first free day. A few of them, much to Lauren's distaste, stayed at the buses to hang out or even catch up on sleep. She however had decided to explore the city they had stopped in. All she needed was an acceptable companion to accompany her on said trip.

Brian was lying on his bunk slowly drifting off to sleep. He forgot just how tiring touring the country could be. Just as he was about to fall fast asleep, a large white pillow hit him in the face startling him. He sprang up and looked down to see Lauren smiling cheekily at him and giggling. He sighed, flopped back face down on his own pillow and mumbled. "Go away Lopez, I'm tired"

Lauren huffed indignantly before climbing up the small ladder so she could reach and flicked him on the head. He opened his eyes and glared at her but her smile made it almost impossible to stay mad.

"Bri I wanna go look around the city" She said.

"Go then" he replied rubbing his eyes and rolling over to face her properly.

"I don't want to go alone! I'll look like a loner! And what if I get lost?"

"Why me Lauren?"

Lauren didn't say anything. A little embarrassed, she looked away and slowly climbed down the ladder without answering. He was honestly the first person she thought of spending the day with, but he was obviously too busy for that.

Brian sighed and swung his legs over the side of the bed, rubbing his eyes. "Wait Lauren, alright let me just get dressed a bit more appropriately okay?"

She smiled brightly at him, nodding and a few minutes later the two of them left the bus, crossed the busy road and started to walk around the city stopping in odd shops here and there.

"Thanks for coming with, Bri" Lauren said.

Brian looked over at her, watching her skip happily beside him. He laughed and she looked up at him.

"What?"

He shook his head smiling at her. "How do you have so much energy? Aren't you tired?"

She stopped and considered this. "I dunno. I'm just excited I guess. We're in a new city! It's beautiful and we're only here for a day! I'm not going to waste it sleeping!"

Brian smiled again and they kept walking.

"I can't believe we've already done seven shows! It's been so much fun!" She continued as they walked.

"You're not nervous anymore?" He asked her watching her reaction.

"I am, but nowhere near as much." She said smiling at him. "Oh My Frickin' God! FOREVER 21!" She exclaimed suddenly and ran over to the shop beaming through the window at the displays. "Bri I HAVE to go in!"

"Ugh do we have to Lauren?"

"But I haven't been for ages!" she said in a pleading tone. "Oh! And I need that top!" She added pointing excitedly through the window.

Brian laughed again. "I doubt you need it."

Lauren turned and glared at him. "Look at it Brian. Do you see it?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, enough said." She pushed open the door and half an hour later the two re-emerged with several bags of purchased clothing.

"Well, I'm happy now." She said smiling and watched Brian struggling with the majority of her purchases.

"That's nice" He said sarcastically, rolling his eyes and earning him a playful punch from the small girl beside him.

"It's not like it's all for me!" She exclaimed defensively "anyway, I'm hungry…"

"I'm not surprised."

"Let's find a café or something" She continued ignoring his comment.

"Are you sure you have enough money left?" He asked her challengingly.

She glared at him again and answered "Oh, you know what? I think I am out of money…. Well it's a good thing you're paying isn't it Bri?"

The two continued to bicker as they walked down the street where they eventually found a small café, they entered and spotted Meredith and Joey talking in the far corner. Lauren, grabbing the bags from Brian, skipped over to them excitedly whilst he stood in line. He watched as Lauren enthusiastically showed Meredith her new clothes and the jeans she had bought for her and found himself smiling. When most people would spend all their money on themselves, it was just like Lopez to keep her friends in mind. She really was genuinely a caring and loyal friend. How could he expect to forget about her?He had gotten so used to having these thoughts and feelings about Lauren now, that the thought of not having them was hard to imagine. Her light brown hair was almost glowing, reflecting the sun that was shining through the window on the wall closest to them. She was so perfect, he didn't know how else to describe her. His thoughts were interrupted however by a loud cough from behind him and a rough tap on the shoulder. He turned to see a man, mid 40s glaring at him with two small children beside him. "Buddy, can you not hold the line up? There are other people waiting to order you know. The lady at the counter's been calling for you…."

Brian apologized, and blushing a deep shade of red,awkwardly walked up to the counter to place their order, trying to ignore the entertained look from the lady serving him and the several customers sharing amused expressions as he clumsily searched through his wallet, dropping loose coins over the counter.

Lauren glanced over at Brian from her spot next to Meredith and noticed he was blushing. Looking around she wondered what could have made him do so, then she noticed the lady behind the counter smiling at him and her heart sank. She was very pretty. Her eyes were big and blue and her dark brown hair was pulled into a high pony tail. Was that the kind of girl Brian liked? As he walked over towards them he avoided Lauren's eyes, taking a seat next to Joey. She sighed and looked away. She wasn't sure why she cared so much. He'd had girlfriends before, and they were all nice enough, but they had never lasted all that long and, although she tried to deny it to herself, a part of her was glad of that.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi Guys! I just wanted to thank you all SO much for all the reviews and PMs. It seriously means so much to me! You have no idea! Here's the next chapter! I hope you enjoy it! Please Review! xxx**

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Lauren and Brian's orders had arrived and they started eating, talking with Meredith and Joey.

"What have you guys been doing all day?" Brian asked Meredith and Joey.

Lauren looked over to her friends chuckling. "I bet I know what they've been doing…"

Brian looked at her curiously. "What?"

Lauren's eyes suddenly went wide as she realized what she'd said and she glanced towards Meredith who quickly interrupted. "Just hanging out and exploring the city. I heard about this pet store that makes really cute little sweaters for dogs and stuff…"

Lauren played along, feeling bad about accidentally breaking her promise about not mentioning their relationship. "No way! That's so cute! Did you find it?"

"Uh yeah but it was closed…"

"That sucks…" Lauren looked over at Joey who was looking at her with a shocked and confused expression. He obviously had not yet been told that she knew about him and Meredith. She tried to stifle her laugh at his look of Horror when she smiled and winked at him. Did he really think that no one had noticed the two of them though? Honestly, everyone at least knew they liked each other.

After Lauren and Brian had finished eating, the four of them left the quaint café and headed back to the bus. When they arrived, they all climbed in to the cramped tour bus one by one. Joe was in the kitchen.

"Oh no Lo! Where exactly are you going to put all of those bags?" Brian said with a grin.

She looked around thinking. She obviously wasn't one to plan things through before taking action as she had absolutely no idea where to store them, but in no way willing to accept defeat she looked back at him and said "I'll just use your bed Bri. You can sleep on the couch."

"No! Use your own bed! You're at least small enough to fit on the couch…"

"She's probably small enough to get lost in the crease behind the cushions" Walker said, grinning at the dirty look Lauren was shooting his way.

"Enough with the short jokes!" She exclaimed. She didn't feel that short. She knew, obviously, she was almost a head or two shorter than everyone else, but she didn't feel like it stopped her from doing the things she needed to do. She supposed she was just used to life at 5 feet tall.

"Yeah Joe, it's not like she hasn't tried to grow, she eats enough to feed a large zoo." Brian joked.

Lauren huffed in mock insult "I get hungry!" she whined, earning her bouts of laughter from her four friends.

At that moment the bus door opened and Julia stepped inside smiling at them. "Hey guys you're back! LAUREN! Look at all those bags! How on earth are you going to fit them on here? We have limited space as it is!"

"I know, I'm sorry Jules….so I guess you don't want this top I bought you?"

Julia eyed her suspiciously as she pulled out, what she reluctantly had to admit, was the cutest top she'd ever seen. "Aw thanks Lo!" She said running over and graciously taking the top from her small friend and hugging her. "But seriously, what are you going to do with them?"

Lauren glanced over at Brian and smiled evilly. "Bri offered up his bed for the rest of the trip"

"I did not!" He shouted but without another thought to the matter, Lauren climbed up the ladder and hauling the bags up onto his bed, pushed his pillows over the edge and began stripping the blankets off. She really didn't need to strip the bed, but her aim was to be as annoying as possible and it was giving her the reaction from Brian that she was after.

"Lauren!" Brian protested. He always seemed to be in the firing line when it came to Lauren's irritating obsession of annoying the crap out of everyone. Maybe because he never really got that angry at her. He actually didn't mind all that much. He would usually try to fight back in some way but often she was just too quick-witted.

"Lauren, seriously-" Brian started but his sentence was interrupted by a large pillow hitting him in the face. He looked up at Lauren, only to see her looking around innocently. "Oh no Lauren, that's it!" He said and before she had time to even move down a step, he had reached her, grabbed her by the waist and pulled her off the ladder. Lauren squealed, giggling hysterically as he spun her around, her legs dangling in the air, not long enough to reach the ground.

Joey, Meredith, Julia and Joe watched the two of them in amusement sharing subtle glances at each other.

"Brian put me down!" Lauren whined, punching his arms and kicking her legs, although secretly enjoying the attention.

He lowered her down and she spun around still giggling and looked up into his eyes, alight with amusement. A little dizzy, she stumbled backwards and tripped over a pillow they left on the floor. As she fell she grabbed Brian's arm in an attempt to save herself, but instead pulled him down with her. The two landed with a thump on the wooden floor beneath them, Brian landing on top of her. For a moment, however brief, the two of them were motionless, locked in each others gaze. They had forgotten all about their four friends still watching the scene, intently. For that moment, it was just the two of them. Lauren giggled quietly, smiling up at him and he had a strong urge to kiss her, but before he could make up his mind the door of the tour bus swung open once more and Dylan walked in stopping in the doorway and staring at the two on the floor.

"Oh wow, what did I miss?" He said with a smirk. Julia and Meredith giggled under their breath as Brian hastily rolled off of Lauren and stood up straightening his shirt, suddenly aware of his friends' presence.

"We tripped over that pillow" Lauren said quickly from the floor, blushing heavily. She glanced at Brian who wasn't looking at her then looked up and over to her friends who all had the same amused expressions. "Got a problem?" she asked them threateningly and they all disbanded immediately. They weren't idiots. They knew how moody Lauren could get at times and had, for their own sakes, learned very quickly when enough was enough.

Lauren looked back at Brian. The air was thick and awkward, and she felt like she needed to say something. "Thanks a lot for landing on top of me Brian, you could've squished me"

Brian looked over at her, frankly relieved she had said something. "Well thanks for pulling me down with you!"

"I grabbed you to stop me from falling! You're a man; you're supposed to be strong!" She retorted smiling up at him.

"Serves you right for being so annoying" He retaliated offering her his hand to help her up.

She glared at him playfully and accepted his hand, rising back to her feet. "Don't worry you can have your bed back." She said with a smirk.

"Well what are you gonna do with all the bags?"

She shrugged and glanced around. "I guess I didn't think it through…. I'll try the wardrobe in the back, but most of them will probably end up on my bed."

"Where will you sleep?"

"Well if you haven't already noticed, I'm not that big, and after I hand out my gifts there will only be a couple left. Serves myself right for being so generous though." She said with a wink. She grabbed two of the bags and skipped out of their bus, leaping over the several pillows and blankets now sprawled across the floor, heading for the second bus to deliver her gifts to the others, leaving Brian to clean up the mess.

Lauren thought hard about what happened as she made her way to the other bus. It's funny. While the two of them were on the floor, she could have sworn she felt him move his face closer to hers, just before Dylan burst through the door. What's even funnier is that it didn't feel didn't feel weird having his body so close to didn't feel weird when she felt his breath on her cheek. What she did feel was an undeniable sense of disappointment when he didn't move just a few inches closer.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey there guys! I really can't thank you enough for all of your support. I sincerely love you all! Sorry that my updates are taking so long. I'll post the next chapter tomorrow. Thanks again for all the reviews and PMs. The Literally make my day. Any way, enjoy! xxxx**

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The tour continued for its remaining three weeks. The Starkids enjoyed every minute of it, and when the last show came around, not one of them was ready for it to end. The group partied for hours after the show, greeting fans, holding and hugging each other, not wanting it to be over. And then they headed off. Back to their own home towns. Back to their families, but leaving their extended family behind.

Lauren sat at the small table in the kitchen of the apartment she shared with Julia in Chicago. It had been just over a week since tour ended, but she was beginning to feel depressed. She missed her friends. Sure they would see each other fairly regularly; one would have to, running a theater business such as StarKid, but it felt weird not being cramped together in that small tour bus that they couldn't poop on. Not having her friends there all the time, to joke around with, to take her mind off things. Julia walked in from the lounge room noticing her friend's gloomy expression.

"You okay Lo?"

"Uh huh" She answered looking miserably at a small, black dot amongst the millions found in their kitchen table's design.

Julia sighed shaking her head. "I know… you're sad about tour ending, and you miss everyone…."

Lauren nodded and exhaled deeply.

"Well I know something that'll make you feel better…." She said smiling at her.

Lauren looked up, ceasing her intense analysis of the simple black speck on the table almost immediately and stared at Julia intently.

"Jaime just rang and the group is getting together later on tonight at this new club. As a kind of end of tour celebration."

Lauren's eyes lit up and a large smile spread almost instantly across her face. "Really? Oh that's so cool! When are we meeting? I'LL GET READY NOW!"

"Lo, they aren't meeting till like 8…" She said smiling at her small friend's excitement.

"Oh." She sighed and slumped back into her chair, continuing to stare at the black dot.

"Jaime offered to pick you up on her way and drop you home again." Julia added.

"Aren't you going?"

Julia shook her head. "I've got to work tonight, and it's my late shift."

"What?! No you have to go Jules! The tour wouldn't have even happened without you…." Lauren said, disappointed that her best friend wouldn't be there.

"Don't worry. You guys will still have fun!"

"Plus I can drive myself there…"

"So you're saying you're not going to be drinking at all tonight?"

Lauren didn't say anything and Julia laughed rolling her eyes. "I didn't think so. Anyway, I better get going." She said after glancing at her watch.

"You're working the late shift aren't you? That doesn't start till 8."

"I have to meet up with some people beforehand." She replied grabbing her bag and leaving the apartment, shouting over her shoulder "See you later Lo. Don't drink too much!"

Brian was lounging around his own apartment, the one he shared with Joey and Walker. Joe was at work but would meet the group later on for their "celebration". Brian was actually super excited for that night. It's funny how while they were on tour, there were times that he just wanted to be back home where he could sleep when he wanted and shit when he wanted, but now it was over, the apartment he missed so much, seemed so empty, even with his two roommates. He really did miss his friends. Joey walked past noticing Brian sprawled across the couch in the lounge room.

"Glad to be back then eh?" He asked leaning against the door frame.

Brian sat up slightly so he could see Joey's face. "No not really."

"You're not? How come?"

Brian shrugged and put his head back against the back of the couch. Joey stood up straight and walked to the couch, sitting on the small coffee table in front of it.

"You okay?" He asked looking at Brian.

Brian looked back at him again. "Yeah why?"

"Dude, you're kind of moping."

"No, I'm not…."

"Yes, you are. You miss the guys?"

"Yeah I guess so…"

"And you miss Lopez." Joey added smiling

Brian sat up straight and stared at him. "No more than I do any of the others…."

Joey laughed and nodded, rolling his eyes. "Right, whatever you say Brian…."

"Don't give me that. How would you know what I'm thinking? Don't act like you know exactly what's going on here Joe okay?" He was sick of the comments now. He honestly wished people didn't know about his feelings for Lauren. He was tired of ignoring the snide remarks. Tired of his friends prying into his love life. He wanted to be left alone to clear his head. If they kept reminding him of his feelings how was he supposed to forget them?

"Jeez Bri, sorry… So what are you saying? You're over her now?"

Brian hesitated for a second before replying. "Yes. Yes I am."

"Are you sure?" Joey asked, not sure if he really believed what he was saying.

"Over the last month and a bit I've noticed something. Me and Lauren would never work out, I mean, I would get way too frustrated with her. She's so annoying. We just aren't right for each other. Good friends, but that's all we'll ever be."

"Oh…..okay then….. So… you don't love her anymore?"

"I never did _love_ her Joe. I told you it was just a crush. Crushes come and go all the time; it's no big deal…" Of course, everything that was coming out of his mouth was a complete lie. As much as he had tried to let her go, over the remainder of tour, his feelings for her had only grown stronger. It's not surprising. He'd been living with these feelings for six or so years now. He couldn't expect them to go away within a month. Especially with her constantly around him. Now they were back home, he realized how miserable he felt. How boring and dull and all around empty it felt without her there. That's the main reason he was excited for that night. He loved hanging out with the Starkids, but what he really wanted, more than anything at that moment was to be with her again.

The group congregated a few hours later at the club Jaime had mentioned earlier. They drank, danced and all in all had the time of their lives, despite the general feeling of mourning for the end of tour. Brian was sitting at their table listening to the loud music playing from the speakers strategically placed around the venue. Beside him, Joe Moses was having a very animated discussion with Charlene and Clark. Lauren, Jaime, Denise, Walker and Dylan had left the table earlier, making their way to the dance floor in the centre of the himself had danced a little, but had decided to enjoy another glass of alcohol with Joey and Meredith, who soon after went off together leaving him where he was now. What was going on there? He was never very involved, nor all that interested in the relationship statuses of his friends, (Lauren being the only real exception), however he could tell that they liked each other and wondered if there was anything between them. He looked over to the large dance floor and searched for his friends. He spotted Joe Walker's head close to the centre of the crowd. Lauren would be somewhere in there, but he didn't bother trying to spot her._ She's so small. I'll never be able to see her in there._ Just then, a large group moved away, heading back to their own table, revealing Lauren and Denise dancing together crazily. He laughed at them watching as Lauren jumped around enthusiastically. She glanced over and caught his eye. Smiling she waved and signaled for him to join them. He shook his head but within a second she had raced back to their table and was pulling him back to the centre of the dance floor. The group danced around together several hours more, improvising their own interpretations of the Robot and the Macarena. Before they knew it, the time was nearing 11:30, and the majority of them were fairly drunk now.

"Guys it's getting late, do you think we should look at leaving soon?" Clark asked after noticing the time.

"Oh! I totally forgot! Guys I have to work early tomorrow!" Jaime said.

"Yeah same here" added Jo Moses.

There was a general hum of agreement and despite some excess whining, from no one in particular…. (Lauren)…. The majority of the group began to gather their things in preparation to leave.

"I don't want to leave yet! I'm having too much fun!" Lauren whined

"Lauren, as I am your designated driver you have no choice" Jaime said rolling her eyes

"I'll make sure she gets home Jaime, don't worry" Brian assured her.

"Yeah Jaime you go. I'll be fine!" Lauren said, a little too excitedly,beaming at Brian.

Jaime sighed, but shrugged then saying her goodbyes left with Dylan, Jo Moses and Charlene.

"Where are Joey and Mer?" Denise asked suddenly looking around, before anyone else left. The others joined in glancing around and noticed they were nowhere to be seen.

"I'll find them guys" Brian offered and left the group in search for the two who were missing. He headed for the bar in the far corner. Joey and Meredith were huddled in a small booth right in the back corner. Brian rolled his eyes and weaved his way through a large group of rowdy teenagers who were blocking his way. As he came closer to his friends, their features became more prominent and he noticed just how close they actually were to each other.

Meredith and Joey had not yet noticed his presence. In fact, they hadn't noticed anyone else in the room. As guilty as they felt about keeping their relationship a secret, they weren't ready to tell everyone just yet. Belonging to a group as big as StarKid, and with all of them being so close, their friends' approval meant everything to them and they had no idea how they would react. It had been Joey's idea to go off together a little earlier in the night. Meredith looked into Joey's eyes smiling and before Brian could take another step closer to the couple, Joey had leaned in and kissed her. Brian stopped dead in his tracks. _Holy Shit!_


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey there! I'm so sorry this is a day late! I had some unexpected events pop up yesterday but none the less, I hope you enjoy this chapter and want to thank you again for reading! Please review!**

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Brian sighed and walked over to the still kissing couple, smirking to himself as he pictured their reactions to what he was about to do. When he reached their booth he quietly slipped in to the vacated side, waited a few seconds and then as loudly as humanly possible cleared his throat causing Joey and Meredith to jump in shock. The two stared at him, a mixture of shock and guilt etched on their faces. Brian raised an eyebrow at them and Meredith, blushing looked down and started fiddling with her hands. Joey and Meredith remained silent and after drawing out the awkward pause as long as possible, all for the intention of making them as uncomfortable as he could, Brian spoke. "So I'm guessing that wasn't the first time was it?"

Meredith looked up at him and both her and Joey shook their heads, but remained silent.

"So when did it happen?"

"Three weeks before the start of tour" Meredith said softly. She could see this ending badly. She had already told Lauren that Brian knew. What would happen if she found out that, once again they had lied to her about the conversation between Brian and herself on the first day of tour.

"Wait, so you've been together for over a month?!" Brian looked at the two of them in shock. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"We didn't know how….." Joey replied.

"Well you better figure it out." Brian said standing up.

Joey and Meredith looked at him anxiously. "What makes you say that?" Joey asked.

"Because you're about to tell everyone"

"But-" Meredith started only to be cut off by Brian.

"Look guys, you'll have to tell everyone eventually, and so it might as well be now, while we're all pretty drunk and about to leave anyway."

The two sighed, but nodded in agreement and Brian lead them back to their large group of friends.

"Guys I found them" Brian said, glancing back and smiling evilly at Meredith and Joey.

"Where have you guys been?" Lauren smiled widely at them.

"They have something to say to all of us" Brian continued before turning to Joey and Meredith again. "Don't you?"

The group looked to Joey and Meredith curiously and Joey spoke up.

"Alright, yes…uh…. Me and Mer…. I mean…Meredith and I are ….. Okay we're together!" He said struggling to find the right words.

The reaction from the group was almost instantaneous. Shouts in shock, squeals of excitement; the group made more noise than what they had done all night. The couple was suddenly bombarded with questions on the details of their relationship.

"Okay guys take note, cuz this is the first and last time I'll be saying this. Mer and I got together three weeks before the start of the tour-" Joey said

"Wait, that's over a month guys!" Liam interrupted.

"Why didn't you tell us?!" Denise added

The group erupted in another session of shouts and loud, drunken and excited questions for the pair to answer.

"For that exact reason! We didn't know how to tell you guys and we were scared of your reactions." Meredith answered loudly over the group.

"I'm just HURT that you would keep this from me" Walker said dramatically.

"Shut up Joe, you're drunk; you probably won't remember this entire conversation tomorrow…." Meredith replied rolling her eyes.

"Anyway…. That's all you need to know for now." Joey concluded sternly.

The group groaned in disappointment but dispersed in all directions, some to the dance floor, others towards the bar to order more drinks.

These remaining group members stayed, dancing and drinking for another hour and eventually began slowly departing, hugging each other and heading for their respective forms of transport.

Once Meredith, Joey and Denise had said goodbye leaving only Lauren and Brian, he turned to her smiling "Hey Lo, I think we better get going too."

Lauren nodded, acknowledging the fact that she was starting to feel a bit tired now and the two of them headed out of the club into the cold night air. Brian called a cab and the two climbed in.

"Where to?" Grunted the man behind the wheel.

Brian glanced over to Lauren who was staring dreamily out of the window;the light from the moon reflecting in her eyes and lighting up her face.

Brian smiled to himself, contently staring at her and watching as the moon's reflection danced across her brilliant brown eyes as she glanced around at the tall buildings around them.

"Alright Buddy, it's been a long day. Are you going to tell me where you want to go or not?" The cab driver asked in annoyance.

Brian jumped slightly at the man's voice and apologizing, gave the man the address to Lauren's apartment.

When they arrived back at the tall building, Brian paid the taxi driver, and slowly followed Lauren up to her apartment. Lauren was giggling hysterically at something, almost skipping beside him as they made their way up the many flights of stairs.

"Oh my god my head is so hazy right now" Lauren said shaking it slightly to try and clear it, as she reached into her bag for her keys.

Brian laughed, and once she had opened the door made his way into the lounge room, flopping onto the couch. Lauren followed dumping her bag on the kitchen table as she passed it and sat down next to him. She yawned softly and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"So Meredith and Joey…" She said, almost too excitedly. She was honestly relieved they could talk about it now.

"I know! I can't believe how long it's been going on for. I'm kind of hurt they didn't tell us sooner…." Brian replied, leaning his head on hers.

"Wait, what?" Lauren lifted her head and looked at him confused. "What are you talking about, you mean you didn't know?"

Brian looked at her for a moment just as confused. "I found out tonight like everyone else, wait, you already knew?"

Lauren stared at him. "Yes, Meredith told me you knew!"

"No I had no idea…."

"Okay that makes no sense…"

"What do you mean? When did you find out?"

"The night of the first concert on tour; it was after we had that fight and she came in to check on me. I told her what happened and she confirmed that she wasn't seeing you, but she was seeing Joey and the conversation you guys had on the oval was when you approached her about their relationship. She said that she made you promise not to say anything. Then she made me promise not to say anything." Lauren was getting frustrated now. So Meredith lied to her. Brian shook his head and the two sat in silence for a moment before Lauren sighed heavily and continued. "I'm sick of it. I'm just sick of being lied to. Like, this makes me wonder what was so important about that conversation that people have to keep lying to me about it! Meredith lied, you were lying; I just want the truth." She looked over at Brian who had been awfully quiet the entire time. "Bri, if it wasn't about Meredith and Joey, then what was it about?"

Brian sighed. She wanted the truth. He knew that she'd be able to tell if he was lying. He knew she would be hurt if he didn't give her the truth, but how could he tell her? It would ruin everything. He looked up at her and caught her eye. The beautiful, big, brown eyes that he had fallen for so many years ago. For a moment he forgot that she had even asked him a question. It was so easy to get lost in them. They had so much depth. They weren't just your everyday brown eyes. He'd seen brown eyes before. Hers were different, unique; they had caramels and auburns and deep chocolate browns that all swirled together in a complicated pattern creating what was undeniably the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He felt his heartbeat increase, as a sickening feeling in his stomach churned uncontrollably at the thought of what he was about to do. He knew what he was about to say was stupid, he had spent so many years convincing himself not to; that it would ruin their friendship, but did he have a choice? He took a deep breath.

"It's kind of a long story…" He started. Lauren didn't say anything so he continued. "I, uh…. Okay, this isn't easy to say Lauren okay…" He said tearing his eyes from her magical brown ones. He decided that it would be easier to get it all off his chest if he wasn't distracted by them. "I wasn't making a promise to Meredith about her and Joey, She was making a promise to me…."

"Okay, what about?" Lauren asked watching his face. It was pale and etched with stress and anxiety. This worried her a little. He wasn't typically one to get super nervous, so whatever he had to say must be some huge news or something really serious.

Brian sighed. "About my feelings for you."

Lauren stared at him lost for words, her mind racing. "Wait, what?" she managed to say. Had she heard him right? Or was it just the alcohol messing with her mind?

Brian continued. "I've denied it to myself for years now, but I have come to realize just how much you mean to me Lo. You are the most beautiful, smartest, loyalest, funniest, talented person I know. It literally kills me when you don't see how amazing you are. For years I've wanted to say so, I've wanted to tell you. Tell you everything; but I didn't want to lose you. I didn't want to risk our friendship, because you mean so much to me. Having you in my life, even as just a friend, was better than not having you at all; but lately it's been harder to keep it a secret. I don't think I can do it anymore. I can't keep pretending. I can't keep it inside anymore. It hurts too much. It hurts too much to see you with other guys; to see you every day and have to ignore the fact that all I want to do is hold you and be with you. I need you to know how special you are to me because…" Brian looked up and directly into her beautiful eyes again "… I love you Lauren, more than you could possibly know."


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys, sorry for the wait, but here is the next installment! (yay!) What will Lauren think of Brian's feelings for her? Keep reading to find out! I have also realized that I have failed to disclaim every chapter up until now. **

**I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING- I do not Know Team starkid, these are NOT real life events, I do not own any of the characters who are part of Team starkid nor do I own the tours/shows listed. **

**Okay I think that's enough. Without further ado, here is the next chapter!**

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Lauren was looking back into his eyes. "Bri…. I don't know what to say…" She could feel her eyes welling up with tears._ Did he really just say that? All of those beautiful things, about me?_ She looked down at the floor trying to make sense of what had just happened; trying to clear her brain of the haze from the alcohol. She had the strong urge to lean over and kiss him passionately, but for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to move. Was she still in shock? She didn't know. Did she love him back? _Yes…no…but it all makes sense now…why I'm always so distracted around him…that's just a crush though…..no it's not….yes it is… I do love him….no, you're drunk! It's just the alcohol talking…._

Brian fought back his own tears. This was it. This was such a stupid idea! He had said all along that he shouldn't have said anything. That he should have let his feelings for Lauren go. Now he was going to lose her. He had destroyed their friendship. But what was he supposed to do now? His heart was racing and he could feel his hands getting sweaty. He glanced up at her. She was still looking at the floor in front of her, eyes wide and breathing deeply.

"It's alright…" he said after another moment of silence. Tearing his eyes from her, he stood up from the couch. "I…. I get it. It's fine…I think…I think I better go…" How could he have been so stupid? Embarrassed and broken, Brian left the room and headed towards the front door of the apartment._ Of course! What did I expect? Why would she love me back?_

"Brian, no please wait!" Lauren had started crying now. Her head was spinning. She just needed a second to think. She ran over to him and grabbed his arm. Brian looked down at her. Her eyes were locked on his, but she remained silent. He breathed in deeply, attempting to stop himself from crying.

"Lauren I need to go". He knew what she was going to say and he wasn't sure he could take it. "_I'm sorry Brian but I just don't feel that way about you… you're like a brother you know?" Ugh! _He was always going to be just the best friend. But that was it. He didn't want to be just the best friend anymore. He wanted so much more than that. What was wrong with him? What did all the other guys have that he was missing? When he reached the door, he turned the handle, swung it open and stepped outside of the apartment, without looking back.

Lauren struggled to pull him back inside the apartment and began to cry harder, pushing herself between him and the doorway. "Brian, please listen to me! I…I just need to think for a second, please!"

Brian looked down at her again. Her face was streaked with tears and her eyes were large looking up at him. _Look at the pain you've caused her. _He couldn't stand seeing her like this. It was almost as bad as her not returning his feelings.

"I'm so sorry Lo" He mumbled and at a last attempt to leave, pulled her off of him and stepped out of the apartment once more, making his way down the hall and turning right at the end, tears falling down his cheeks.

"No Brian! Brian!" Lauren called out after him. Her mind was racing. "Brian, please! Please come back!" Her eyes were blurry from her tears and her heart started to ache severely as she cried harder. That's when she realized. "Bri I love you! Bri! Brian!"

Lauren stared at the end of the hallway for a moment; watching, hoping he would turn back, but he didn't come. Trembling, she fell to the floor in a heap of uncontrollable sobs. She leaned back against the door that had closed behind her hugging her legs and cried into her knees. All this time she had denied her true feelings for Brian. She realized now how much she really did love him. She had always loved him. They had that special relationship that she didn't have with anyone else. Now he was gone and it was too late. Now she had hurt him, not only losing her the man she loved, but her best friend. She replayed the scene in her mind, his words echoing in her head. She was shocked, that's all. She never thought he could ever love her. She should have told him sooner, but she hadn't been sure of how she felt, not until she saw his broken face, the way he got up and left. Now he was gone she realized just how big a gap he left behind. She started crying harder now, the pain in her heart was almost too much to bear. _I can't believe he's gone._

"Lo…."

She lifted her head from her knees and looked up to see Brian, red eyed but just as handsome as ever, standing in front of her. He offered her his hand and she took it rising back to her feet. Blinking in disbelief, she tried to stop crying but to no avail.

"Bri, I love you" She repeated as clearly as she could, desperately attempting to breathe through her irrepressible sobbing, but remained looking directly into his eyes, grabbing hold of the end of his shirt, reassuring herself that it was him and not some figment of her own imagination.

Brian stared down at her. He wasn't sure if he had heard her right the first time, but this time she had definitely said it. His heart filled with a warmer glow than there ever had been. _Loves me? _

"You love me?" He asked, desperately hoping that what he had heard before wasn't something he had invented in his mind.

Lauren looked into his blue eyes. She had always thought of the two of them as just friends, but now she couldn't imagine her life not being with him. Did she love him? She had never been surer of anything in her life. She could tell that this wasn't the alcohol talking. She could feel it. What she felt for Brian was real. It always had been. She had just been too blind to see it.

Brian watched her closely. She was still crying but her face wasn't etched with pain or confusion anymore. Standing on her toes, she leaned closer in until their noses were almost touching.

"More than you could possibly know" She whispered, looking deeper into his eyes and pressed her lips against his.

Brian couldn't believe this was happening. He had never felt this way about someone before. In all of the relationships he had had in his life, never had they felt so right. Never had he felt such a deep connection with a person than what he did with Lauren at that moment. Brian returned her kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist. Her lips were so soft and fit perfectly with his. He opened his mouth slightly and she responded immediately, surprising herself. His mouth was so warm, the caress of his lips softer than she could have ever imagined. Lauren opened the door behind her and the two stumbled in still kissing passionately, before closing it behind them. Lauren pulled back only slightly looking deep into his eyes and smiled at him.

"Sorry" she whispered in a breathless sort of giggle.

"Don't apologize" He replied pulling her in closer to him and kissing her on the lips again; even more passionately. Their breathing was getting heavier now, and Lauren moaned softly into the kiss causing Brian to smile slightly against her lips. She glanced over briefly at the clock on the wall. 1pm, Julia wouldn't be home for another hour or so…

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**So what did you guys think this time? Finally right?! Please review, it means the world! Love you all xxx**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey there guys! Sorry about how long I'm taking with uploads. The next few should be up by this time next week :) Thanks for reading! I apologize that this one is a little shorter than usual, but I hope you enjoy! xxx**

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Lauren woke abruptly to the deafening buzz of her alarm clock. Bleary eyed she smacked her hand down on the device, the noise ceasing at once. She sat up and looked around her room rubbing her eyes. The room was well lit and the open window let a small breeze glide around her room. She shivered slightly and looked down to find she was sitting in her underwear and remembered the events of the night before. She smiled to herself but then realized Brian wasn't beside her. She looked back at her clock. 7:00 am. She couldn't remember much about the night before, but she remembered Brian telling her that he loved her. At this thought she smiled to herself and sank back underneath the large blankets of her bed. _But we were pretty drunk what if he didn't really mean it? _She looked over at the empty spot beside her. _What if he woke up in the middle of the night and freaked out and left?_ She certainly meant what _she_ had said. She looked around hoping she'd see him pop out somewhere but he was nowhere to be seen. She glanced over to her bedside table and spotted her phone. She pressed the large middle button and the screen erupted with color. Not the colors she was after however, as no new messages from Brian had been received. She forced herself out of bed and swiftly walked across her room and into the ensuite. She was suddenly hit with a severe burst of pain in her head and found herself having to lean against the door frame to keep from falling over. _And yet I continue to drink._ When her head cleared slightly she walked over to the sink and looked into the mirror. She was a mess. Her hair was messed up, half of it in a bun, the other half pouring out at odd angles, and her makeup was still smudged down her face from crying. She stood for a moment, looking at herself in disgust, before hopping into the shower. What would she do then? If Brian didn't really love her, she would have already embarrassed herself enough by expressing her love for him. That would have been enough to deal with without them sleeping together. Lauren started to feel sick in the stomach at the thought of it. After about 20 minutes of standing under the stream of near to boiling hot water, freaking out about what she would do when she saw him next; a knock came from the door of her room. Lauren stumbled out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her, almost slipping over as she raced back into her room.

"Who is it?" She asked cautiously.

"It's Julia, Lauren who else would it be?" came Julia's voice from the other side of the door.

With a small sigh of relief Lauren replied "I'm naked at the moment Jules, can it wait?"

"I guess so, I'll just tell Bri-"

"Brian's here?!" She exclaimed in a loud whisper.

"Yeah, he just arrived, asking for you." She replied with a slight tone of amusement "Why are you whispering?"

"Oh, just because I shouted at the top of my lungs, that I was naked in here Julia!" Lauren hissed, hurrying around trying to find something to wear, tossing clothes across the room. Throwing on a nice dress, she ran into the bathroom and as quickly as she could, towel dried and brushed her hair. She badly wanted to fix herself up more, but he was already waiting and she didn't want to seem too desperate; especially if he thought he could just leave her.

She opened her door, slipped out of her room and closed it directly behind her so no one could see the state it was now in.

"Julia?" She called.

"In the lounge room"

Lauren walked to the lounge room and awkwardly sat down in the closest chair to the doorway. Brian was sitting on the lounge and Julia the couch chair beside it. Julia looked at the two of them. Something seemed different. Lauren was avoiding eye contact. She hoped another fight hadn't broken out between the two of them.

"What's up?" She asked looking at Brian.

Brian paused. He hadn't thought this through very well. "We were just going to see a movie" He replied casually.

"It's like 7:30 in the morning..." She replied eyeing him suspiciously.

"Brian has to work later and we were just going to do something beforehand" Lauren lied. As soon as she said it she felt the guilt creeping down her throat and resting in her stomach as if she had swallowed some sort of thick, poisonous liquid. She hated lying to Julia. She was like a sister, her family. They trusted each other with everything.

"Oh okay sweet, what movie?"

At that moment the phone rang and Julia leaped up to answer it. Lauren and Brian sighed in relief and shared a small smile at the sight of the other's reaction. Lauren looked away but Brian continued watching at her. She looked different, somehow. She wasn't wearing makeup but it wasn't that. He'd seen her without makeup before. She looked beautiful, but more than usual. He stood up and walked over to her offering her his hand to get out of the chair.

"Wanna go?"

"To the movies?" she asked a little confused.

Brian laughed at the look of bewilderment on her face "I just meant for a drive or whatever. We have some stuff to talk about, but if you want to see a movie..."

"Okay a drive... let me just fix myself up a bit" she said turning and heading back to her room.

"You look fine to me" he called after her.

Lauren turned to look at what she expected to be a face full of sarcasm and cheek but instead saw a warm smile that made her stomach flip.

"It's true." He continued. "But I'd put a jumper on. It's a bit cold out"

She smiled at him blushing slightly and ran to get her shoes and a cardigan. When she returned the pair walked towards the door.

"I better let Julia know we're leaving" Lauren said and quickly dashed into the kitchen where the phone was. Julia was still on the phone, talking to her brother, Lauren presumed. He usually called around this time every couple of weeks. "Jules we're leaving" Lauren called. Julia nodded and waved distractedly.

"Ready?" Brian asked her.

Lauren nodded and stepped out of the apartment.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey Guys, I decided to upload this chapter as well, as it is short like the one before, and I'm really bored at the moment. Enjoy!**

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Lauren sat quietly in the passenger seat looking out the window, thinking of a way to avoid the inevitable conversation she was about to endure. So Brian had been sweet to her that morning. That didn't make it okay for him to leave her. She didn't know what she would do if he said that it was a mistake and that he didn't really love her. They certainly wouldn't be able to go back to being "just friends" after this. _Maybe if I just pass out or something, he'll take me home and I won't have to hear it..._ Brian noticed that she looked uncomfortable and spoke first.

"Um...I think we have a lot to talk about" He said looking at her. She didn't say anything, still looking out the window and he continued. "I woke up early this morning and didn't want to wake you. I thought I had better leave in case Julia came in, and I wasn't sure if you wanted anyone to know what happened... I left a note on your bedside table... judging by your expression you didn't get it..."

Lauren at that point had looked in his general direction and shook her head but not meeting his eyes. Brian sighed and pulled the car over at a nearby parking lot. _What a stupid idea, driving while having a conversation like this._

Lauren looked at him confused and he turned to face her.

"I don't want you to think that I left because I freaked out or something." Brian said looking into her eyes. "Because I meant what I said last night."

Lauren smiled at him still unsure of what to say.

"I've known for a while..." He said, a little embarrassed, but it felt good to be completely honest with her finally.

"Why?" She asked looking down.

"Why what?"

"Why do you love _me_? I'm nothing special" She elaborated still looking down and fiddling with the hem of her dress.

Brian couldn't believe what he was hearing. She was perfect! He honestly couldn't fault her and yet she was so insecure about herself! She had no idea the effect she had on people. The effect she had on him. Brian reached out his hand and lifted her chin so she was looking at him.

"You are perfect". He said looking directly into her large brown eyes that had started to tear up. "Nothing special? Lo, you are more than special. I love you because when I'm with you, you make me feel...happy; the way you make everyone happy. Like, no matter how shit I'm feeling, you just remind me of how amazing life is and how lucky I am to be here. You're...Beautiful and talented and funny and exciting and loyal... why wouldn't I love you?"

Lauren smiled up at him. _He really loves me that much._ She still wasn't sure what to say. It's true, at times she did feel inadequate, and for someone to think that much of her was an incredible concept for her to deal with.

"Bri, I love you too" she said before starting to cry. Brian sighed, got out of the car and walked over to her side, helping her out and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug.

"Lolo, Don't for a second think that you're not special. You're the most important thing in my life. You're more special than anyone I know. You need to know that"

"Thanks Bri." She said snuggling her head closer to his chest. "Sorry...I should've trusted you enough to know you wouldn't leave me like that"

"Don't worry about it." He replied and kissed her on the head. "But we still have a lot to talk about"

Lauren nodded. "But not in the car park" she said smiling. "What about a walk in the park across the road?"

The two of them were sitting on a park bench. Lauren was cuddled close to Brian who had his arms wrapped around her.

"Last night..." Brian started and laughed to himself before continuing. "Oh my god. It was amazing!"

Lauren smiled shyly. It was weird having this conversation with Brian. It didn't feel wrong; it was just strange talking about sleeping with him when he had been just her friend for like 6 years. She looked up at his face. He was looking out into the distance, smiling to himself. She laughed at him and he looked down at her with a concerned expression.

"Yeah it was" she agreed in a quiet tone which brought the smile back to his face. The crazy thing was that it wasn't weird like she expected. Maybe the alcohol helped a little, but it felt right. They were in perfect rhythm. It was just, perfect.

"Um, so... I" Brian stuttered. He wasn't really sure what they were right now, nor was he sure how to ask.

"Where do I want to go from here?" Lauren asked helpfully. Brian smiled and she thought for a moment. "All I know is that I love you and just want to be with you like 24/7..."

"I love you too." Brian smiled hugging her slightly tighter. "Do you think it would be weird for us to start dating?"

Lauren smiled brightly at him. "No. I think that would be best, last night we skipped a few steps."

Brian laughed. "Weird for the others?"

Lauren hesitated. She had forgotten all about her friends. It would be super weird for them. Not only that, their friends already had Joey and Meredith to get their heads around. But she didn't want that to stop them being together. "Yeah probably..." She sighed. "What do you think?"

"I don't want to put our friends in any awkward situations…yet," He said with an evil grin. "But I want to be with you." He added.

"I guess we could keep it secret for now" Lauren suggested. Brian nodded but she knew what he was thinking. That would be hard. They were always around their friends and to act like there wasn't anything going on between them wouldn't be easy. "Just around our friends" she added smiling.

Brian returned her smile and leaned over pressing his lips against hers into a gentle kiss, their first as a couple.


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey guys! Here's the next chapter! Sorry that it's not that long... The next chapter should be up by this time next week. Please review! AND if you have any ideas for the story please let me know! I'd love to hear from you! Also if you like this one, you should check out my other fanfic "Not Alone". Okay enjoy this chapter! xxx**

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Brian and Lauren spent the rest of the day together. They couldn't get enough of each other. Brian wasn't sure if he'd be able to cope with keeping the two of them a secret. Not being able to hold her and kiss her and touch her whenever he wanted was going to be hard. Especially now that he knew she felt the same way. And so he was trying to make up for it now. He couldn't help but stare at her, even when they did decide to see a movie. He would glance over and watch her slowly putting a piece of popcorn in her mouth. She would look over and catch him staring and shoot a dazzling smile at him, then snuggle up closer to him.

When they arrived back to Lauren, and Julia's, apartment they stood at the door looking at each other.

"When I go in there it's officially a secret." Lauren said. That day had been the best day of her life and she didn't want it to end. "I don't think I'll be able to do it for very long" She said stroking the side of his face with her tiny hand.

"Let's hope it won't be for long then" Brian said smiling at her and bending down closer to her until their lips touched. Just as the two relaxed into the kiss the door of the apartment clicked and they pushed apart from each other as it opened and a tired looking Julia appeared in the doorway.

"I thought I heard you two. Where have you been all day? Didn't you have to work Brian?" She asked looking at the two guilty figures but too tired to really notice.

"Work called and said they didn't need me in today" Brian replied as casually as he could, breathing hard from the shock he had received moments before.

"What?" Julia asked staring at him confused.

"Yeah, yeah they called me up earlier this week asking if I come in today, and I said I would, but on our way to the movies they called again saying they didn't need me after all….."

"So we just kind of hung out around town today, you know" Lauren added not looking at Julia. She would be the hardest to lie to but it wouldn't be fair to let her know and keep it from the others.

"Oh, okay" Julia said and walked back inside. "I'm making hot chocolate, you staying for a while Brian?"

"No I better get going" he said looking over at Lauren who was looking back at him, but had a sad sort of twinkle in her eye that almost broke his heart. Glancing into the apartment and making sure Julia wasn't in earshot he walked back over to Lauren and hugged her tightly.

"Do you have to go? Can't you stay for a little longer?" She asked him looking into his beautiful blue eyes.

"I actually do have work tomorrow. I don't want to leave..." He kissed her on the head and she hugged him even tighter.

"Love you Bri" She whispered into his shirt.

"Love you too Lolo" He said, and after kissing her on the lips one last time, he left.

Lauren watched him until he turned the far corner leaning against the doorframe. She touched her lips with her fingers and remembered. Its funny how just the night before, she had been right there on the floor crying, thinking she'd never see him again and now they were an item. Together, he was hers and she was his, and she wouldn't have it any other way. She walked back into the apartment and softly closed the door behind her, walking down the hallway and into the kitchen where she found Julia at the table with two steaming mugs in front of her. Lauren sat beside her best friend and took one of the mugs.

"So how was your date with Brian?" She asked smiling evilly over her mug.

Lauren froze. _Shit how does she know? Did she see us? Were we that obvious?_

"Calm down sweetie I was just teasing." She said laughing at the look on Lauren's face and stirring her hot chocolate. "But do you still have feelings for him? It's been a while now that's all, and I know you were confused on tour..."

Lauren didn't know what to say. She had always been able to be very honest with Julia. They shared just about everything. But she and Brian had agreed to keep it a secret for now, so when the time came to share the news she would be the first to know. "Um... I haven't really thought about it since then..."

"I guess they're gone then..." Julia said dismissively "just a crush, I told you you'd be fine"

Lauren nodded feeling sick in her stomach with guilt. "Hey Jules I'm feeling a bit gross, I think I'll take this into my room."

"No problem Lo, goodnight" Julia said smiling at her.

"Goodnight" She replied and headed for her room where she got straight into bed and snuggled down under her covers, sipping her hot chocolate. She glanced over at her alarm clock and noticed a piece of paper folded and placed neatly beside it. Reaching over and grabbing it, she unfolded it to find Brian's writing neatly scrawled in a short letter.

"_Lolo, I woke up and heard Julia outside in the kitchen. You were still asleep and I didn't want to wake you. I wasn't sure if you wanted to talk to anyone about what happened between us so I left when I heard her in her room in case she came in later.  
Lo I want you to know how much you mean to me. I love you so much and had the best time with you last night. I can't believe how lucky I am. I hope you feel the same way. See you soon Lo.  
I love you xxx  
Brian_"

Lauren felt her heart glow and begin to beat faster as she thought about Brian. How could she have thought that he would use her? She felt so lucky that she was in love with her best friend; and even luckier that he loved her in return, and now they could be together. Thinking about the events of the day, Brian, their kiss, and their night together she eventually drifted off to sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey guys! Sorry this took so long to update. This week was a lot busier than I was expecting. I'm going to try and update at least once a week, just t add a bit of structure to this whole updating thing. Have fun, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Fair warning- the next few chapters involve swearing so if you are at all offended by coarse language, feel free to skip these chapters. (It isn't bad in this chapter, but all the same, I thought the warning should be there.)**

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The next few weeks were the longest Brian had ever experienced. He knew it would be hard to keep his relationship with Lauren a secret, but he didn't realise how hard. He hated having to sneak around behind his friends' backs, but he and Lo had already discussed it. If this was what she wanted then he would just have to deal with it. The hardest part was when they got together as a group. He loved his friends dearly but when he saw Lauren nothing else mattered in the world. He had to hold back his urge to pick her up in his arms and spin her around in a passionate kiss every time he saw her, settling with a glance or a smile here and there.

Brian sipped on his coffee and looked around his quiet apartment. Joe and Joey were still in their rooms, most likely asleep. He remembered back to the day he and Lauren had spent together. Not having to hide what they were in fear of hurting their friends. In fact due to work and their group's insistence to go out together more often, He and Lauren had barely been alone together at all since then. They had tried of course, but whenever he went to her apartment, Julia was there and Joey and Joe were always at his and it was becoming impossible to keep it from them. Joe came out of his room and walked over to the kitchen bench, helping himself to the cereal that was already out.

"Brian, you're starting to worry me. You never go out with anyone." he said, concentrating on his cereal.

"Good morning to you too, and I'm fine and perfectly happy the way things are right now" Brian replied in an exasperated tone.

"Joey and I were thinking of going to a bar tonight..."

"Walker! This is the fourth time you have attempted to hook me up with someone in three weeks! I TOLD you that I'm not interested in seeing anyone, especially someone hanging out in some tacky bar or club."

Joe had looked up from his bowl of cereal and stared at him for a few seconds before continuing his meal, shaking his head. "You gotta let her go man..."

Brian glared at him. "What are you talking about?"

Joe looked at him eyes wider than usual and continued cautiously. "I mean your feelings for Lauren... if you're not gonna-"

Brian stood up at this point and banged his hands on the kitchen bench. "What?! Who told you something like that?"

"Joey technically... but it was kind of obvious. Anyway you two seem kind of distant now... you didn't have another fight or anything did you?"

Brian didn't answer. They just couldn't win. Too close and they would get comments, but too distant and people get concerned. He had to be distant so they didn't look like a couple. It wasn't easy to you know. It wasn't easy to act like he didn't love her more than life itself. To act like they were just friends when he was so excited that they were so much more than that.

"Dude I just reckon... If you're not gonna tell her how you feel... instead of killing yourself over it... You should see other people ….people you can actually have a relationship with and... get your mind off it you know?" Joe continued in between mouthfuls of cereal.

Brian turned and stormed into the hallway heading for the door of their apartment. "I don't want anyone else. I'm fine!" he shouted from the hallway. He didn't need to listen to this. He had someone, he just couldn't show it. _It's not like I'm incapable of finding someone for myself!_

"So you still love her?" Joe had followed him and was now standing in the doorway leading back into the kitchen.

At that point Joey shuffled out of his room wrapped in a blanket. The two stared at him in silence.

"Shut up! You guys are so loud! I'm sick!" Joey exclaimed in the tone of a wailing child. "And Brian told me like three weeks ago that he was over Lauren." He added with a cough.

"Oh and thanks for breaking your promise and telling the whole fucking world Joey" Brian snapped.

Joe looked back to Brian who was glaring at Joey and tried to move the conversation forward. "Well, that's good you're over her! It was getting you way down. You should've just said so. But still come with us tonight. You might meet someone that you can actually have a relationship with…"

"I'm not going anywhere tonight." Joey said gloomily.

"Just me and you then Bri, we'll find you a nice girl….. Actually," he said with smirk "Since girls aren't really working out for you we'll find you a nice guy"

Brian held back his urge to punch him in the face and settled with a threatening glare before he turned and opened the door behind him.

"Where are you going?!" Joey asked with a shocked expression "I'm sick! And Walker's leaving for work in like an hour!"

"I have to meet someone!" He lied raising his voice "...and you're a grown man Joey take care of yourself."

"Dude calm down I think he was joking..." Joe said.

"Um not really…. I need soup or something!"

"Well maybe you should call up Meredith, Joey. I'm sure she'd be only too happy to help out" Brian shot at him. It wasn't fair! Joey and Meredith got to spend all the time in the world together, and he and Lauren had to hide. Joey looked at him shocked and confused, and glanced over at Walker who was staring back at Brian with raised eyebrows. And with that Brian turned and left the apartment slamming the door behind him, which he immediately regretted.

_I shouldn't take it out on them, they don't know..._

Brian searched for his phone in the pocket of his pants but realised that he had left it in the kitchen. _There's no way I'm going back in there after that outburst,_ He thought to himself. He needed to talk to Lauren. He didn't think he could put up with the secrecy anymore. Brian stood outside his apartment door contemplating what to do when he heard her.

"Oh Bri thank God you're still here!"

Brian looked over to see her beautiful face although streaked with tears. He rushed over to her and hugged her tightly.

"Lo are you okay? What happened?" He asked looking into her eyes that were still watery.

"Bri... I don't think I can keep us a secret anymore..."

Brian sighed. "Did you have a fight too?"

"Yeah... You had a fight? With who?"

"Joe and Joey." Brian said looking down. He felt really bad for acting out towards them.

"What happened?" She asked looking concerned.

"Uh... well Walker's been trying to ... Hook me up with girls, like inviting me to clubs and bars and shit. I keep saying no but he's getting persistent. Then he asked if I still love you..."

Lauren smiled a little in amusement "that's Walker for you. But he just cares about you Bri, he wouldn't be suggesting these things if he knew about us."

"I know." He said guilt rising in his chest.

"What did you tell him? And what about Joey?" She asked.

"Um... okay, this kind of goes back a long way. Joey was the only person; well I suppose besides Meredith that I told about my feelings for you... I actually wasn't going to tell you that night I came to see you, and I had told Joey that my feelings were gone. He came out this morning, sick-"

Lauren rolled her eyes at this. "Oh God good luck with that" she said smiling. Joey was the type of person to milk a situation for everything that it's worth.

"Yeah I know!" Brian replied shaking his head. "Anyway Walker and I were in the middle of this argument and Joey mentioned that I wasn't in love with you anymore. Joe was saying stuff like how good it was and shit and I guess it pissed me off a bit... Then I turned to leave and Joey was complaining that he would be alone while he was sick and I kind of shot out a comment about him and Meredith..." Brian looked at her guiltily.

"Bri…" Lauren said shaking her head

"They said that I should hook up with a guy, since girls weren't working out!" He exclaimed in his defence.

Lauren laughed out loud at this, despite trying to hold it in.

"Still, I regret it now... I left after that." Brian looked back down to the floor. "It's stressing me out Lo. I don't think I can keep this secrecy up anymore... I know we said it would be weird for everyone, but this is worse! We get like no time together and when we do, like now, we're talking about our friends anyway. I don't care if it's weird for them!" He looked into her eyes and put both hands on her shoulders. "I love you, and I want to be able to hold you and kiss you and just be with you. If they can't handle that then there's nothing I can do."

Lauren smiled up at him, standing on her toes and kissed him passionately on the mouth wrapping her arms around his neck. He responded, instinctively putting his hands around her waist. It felt so good to be with her again. They had barely had any time together in the past few weeks. He took the kiss as a token of her consent. The only thing to do now was to figure out how to tell everyone….

"Holy Shit!" A voice came from behind them and the couple stopped kissing abruptly and turned to see Joe Walker standing in the doorway with a bag of rubbish in his hand, mouth open and eyes wide.


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey guys! Here's the next chapter! I was bored and decided to write more chapters! (despite the mountain loads of homework I have for this weekend). I have some interesting plot points in mind for upcoming chapters, so stay tuned! Please review! Love you xxx**

**Warning: This chapter contains swearing (They are starkids after all) :) ...(I'm paranoid okay?)**

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Brian and Lauren looked at each other smiling guiltily. This wasn't exactly the way they wanted their friends to find out.

Joe was still staring at them as if the image of them kissing had remained in front of him. His mouth was opened in shock, but he didn't say anything. He just stood there staring at them, still gripping the bag of rubbish. At that point Joey shuffled over, peering out of the doorway, still wrapped in his blanket.

"What? What happened? Did the bag split? Oh hey Lopez!" Joey smiled brightly at Lauren then looked at Joe who had finally closed his mouth but was still staring at Brian and Lauren with his eyes wide. Ignoring the odd expression on his face, Joey looked to Brian.

"Dude I'm sorry if I upset you or whatever before...I"

"Joey I'm sorry, I was just stressed out, and I shouldn't have taken it out on you guys." Brian said.

Joey smiled and shrugged. That was the thing about Joey. As hyperactive, childish and annoying he could be he was loyal and always willing to forgive and move on.

"So Lauren, you coming in? Brian's gotta meet someone." Joey said

"Actually I had to, um, ask Brian something so I'll just walk down with him" she said.

Brian nodded and the two turned and started to walk down towards the elevator when Joe finally recovered his voice.

"Oh My GOD!" He shouted. "That's literally all I can say!"

"Joe what is wrong with you? Put the trash out and make me some soup God damn it!" Joey said staring at his friend's wild expression.

Ignoring Joey, Joe dropped the bag and marched swiftly over to the pair who had turned to look at him.

"This is MUCH more important!" he said shouting, grabbing an arm of each of them and pulling them back into the apartment. Brian pulled a face at Lauren and she giggled at him.

"Joe what the fuck is wrong with you?!" Joey said watching him drag his other two friends by their arms inside the apartment, and picking up the bag that Joe had dropped.

Ignoring Joey's remark Joe stared at Brian and then at Lauren. This was crazy! He literally just finished having an argument with Brian about how he didn't have feelings for Lauren any more, only to come outside of his own apartment less than three minutes later to see the pair of them making out.

"Umm... It's kind of a long story...?" Lauren said nervously.

"What is?" Joey asked still standing in the doorway with the bag of rubbish in his hands.

"I have all day" Joe said staring at Lauren, once again ignoring Joey.

"No you don't you have work" Brian said.

"I'm calling in sick" Joe replied quickly.

"Why? WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" Joey whined now closing the door, dumping the bag back inside the rubbish bin and following them into the lounge room.

"I mean was it just that one time? What the fuck?!" Joe said raising his voice, obviously still in shock.

"Look it's not that big a deal!" Brian said.

"WHAT'S NOT A BIG DEAL?!" Joey shouted staring at the three of them. "SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON!"

"BRIAN AND LAUREN KISSED!" Joe shouted back staring crazily and pointing at the two accused.

"HOLY SHIT WHAAT?!" Joey said dropping his blanket and staring just as wildly at them.

"SERIOUSLY CALM DOWN! SO YEAH ME AND LO KISSED-" Brian shouted back, but he was unsure why.

"KISSED? IT WAS MORE LIKE MADE OUT!" Joe shot back

"YOU GUYS MADE OUT?! WHAT HAVE I MISSED?!"

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE OVER HER?" Joe continued

"YEAH YOU SAID YOU WERE OVER HER!"

"WELL I'M NOT!" Brian replied.

"YEAH I GOT THAT!"

"OH MY GOD! ARE YOU GUYS LIKE TOGETHER NOW? THIS IS SO WEIRD!"

Lauren took a step back and watched in shock as the three of them shouted at each other. She wasn't sure if they were happy or angry or what.

"Guys..." She said, but they were still shouting over the top of her. "Guys!" She said a little bit louder, but the men didn't even look at her. "OH MY GOD GUYS SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET ME TALK!" She screamed and they stopped shouting at once, looked at her and sat down silently on the couch. Lauren sat down on the chair closest to Brian, trying not to laugh at the three men's shocked reactions.

"Okay, I know it's a shock but just let me, and Bri explain what happened okay? We were going to tell you, you weren't supposed to find out like this..."

"Wait so how long has this been going on for?!" Joey asked eyes wide.

Lauren looked at Brian as he answered "Three weeks."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Joey asked looking a little hurt.

"Joey, we didn't know how..." Lauren said feeling a slight twinge in her stomach which she assumed was guilt. "We thought it would be weird for everyone so we kind of kept it a secret until we could figure out a right time and a right way to tell you all..."

"And you can't talk! You and Mer kept your secret over a month." Brian added.

"Wait, wait, wait….When did this happen?" Walker asked looking at Brian.

"You know that night we all went out for drinks?"

"Wait you told me you were over her." Joey interrupted.

"Well obviously I'm not am I?" Brian retorted. "Well I told her how I felt and ..." He looked over at Lauren who was blushing slightly but smiling beautifully at him.

"And I told him that I felt the same way" She said still looking at him.

The two were staring at each other, locked into each other's gaze. Lauren remembered that night and their first kiss together. That night changed her life forever.

"Then what?" Joey asked looking closely at the couple who reluctantly tore their eyes from each other. Lauren looked away and Brian was looking at his hands. Did they really need to know what happened next? But their silence gave the two roommates all the information they needed.

Joey and Joe looked at each other. Joey had his mouth open in disbelief and Joe smiled maliciously.

"Oh my God you guys totally _Did It_ didn't you!" Joe exclaimed continuing his evil smile, raising his eyebrows at the two of them.

The two still said nothing but looked back at each other and shared a small smile.

"Holy Crap this is so weird... this is crazy!" Joey exclaimed "So much to take in before ten in the morning!"

"So you guys are together now? Like a couple?" Joe asked his face straight and unreadable.

They both nodded and watched his face for any sign of emotion. Joe cracked a smile and they both sighed in relief.

"I'm not gonna lie, Bro... It's kinda weird, but it's alright with me" Joe said laughing at the relief on their faces.

"Um unless this is going to affect me FINALLY getting some soup and going back to bed, then it's cool with me too" Joey said glaring at Joe.

Joe picked up the pillow that he had been sitting on and hit Joey in the face with it. Joey tackled him to the floor where they continued to wrestle and throw pillows at each other. Brian stared at them in amusement and Lauren giggled as Joe attempted to get to his feet but tripped over Joey who was still on the floor. Brian looked over to her. Her laugh was so beautiful. He couldn't remember ever being happier than he was at that moment. His best friends knew about Lauren and him; they didn't have to hide anymore. Lauren watched the mess of limbs on the floor that were Joe and Joey, still shouting at each other. She was glad they took the news so well. She felt Brian's eyes on her and looked up. He jerked his head backwards slightly, signalling her to follow him to the hallway.

"I guess Julia had better be next on the list" Lauren said with a sigh.

"Oh my God! I'm sorry Lo; I got caught up in my problems earlier. You looked really upset about something... Is everything alright? Did you fight with Julia?"

"It's alright. I've just been really emotional lately..." She replied stepping closer to Brian and giving him a hug, which he gladly returned.

"What happened?" Brian asked looking a little concerned. "You two are so close"

"We were talking about Joey and Meredith, and what a cute couple they made, and it got me thinking how lucky they were that they could just be together and not have to worry about what everyone thought about it. I guess I must've looked upset cause she asked me and I lied to her...I can't even remember now, but she could tell I was lying and I got pretty defensive I guess... I started to yell, she started to yell and I started to cry again..." Lauren could feel the tears coming yet again. What was this? She was such an emotional wreck lately. Lately, it felt like all she was doing was crying. It just didn't make any sense. She wasn't upset, she was the happiest she had ever felt, so why was she so emotional?

"Lolo I'm sorry." He hugged her again then wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "Did you want me to go back to the apartment with you to tell her or did you want to do it yourself?"

"I think we need to have some girl time Bri" she said smiling.

"Are you sure you're okay though?" He asked her looking worried

"I don't know..." She said. "I've been really emotional lately... but I'm really tired too, so it might just be that". She was actually feeling a bit off today as well and wouldn't mind having a lay down.

Brian hugged her again and they said their goodbyes. When Lauren got home she noticed Julia sitting at the kitchen bench. She looked up immediately as she walked in the room.

"Lauren! Hey I'm sorry for earlier... I hate fighting with you." She said standing up from her chair.

"Jules I'm sor-" Lauren suddenly felt incredibly nauseous. "What's that you're eating?" She asked taking a step back.

"Just some left over Chinese food from last night. Did you want some?"

With that Lauren found herself running for the bathroom where she made it just in time to be sick into the toilet. _That came out of nowhere..._


	19. Chapter 19

**Yes me again! This was a BIG weekend for Life at it's Lo-est (three chapters in two days) but as this particular chapter was on popular demand (I'm looking at you BeffaH) here it is! Next instalment should be around next Saturday. Anyway, Enjoy! and Please Review!**

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Lauren sat on the floor of the bathroom staring into space. _Shit...Holy Shit...This cannot be happening..._ She started freaking out. Did this mean what she thought it did? _Highly emotional, Tired- more than usual, sensitive to strong smells, Nausea and vomiting..._At that point a knock came from the door of the bathroom followed by Julia's concerned voice.

"Lauren, are you okay? Can I come in?"

Lauren didn't answer. She couldn't remember how to speak. _Calm down okay...okay...it might not be that... that stomach bug has been going around lately... yeah that's right... that's probably all this is...I'm probably just emotional because my period is due in like three days._

"Lauren?" Julia called again from the other side of the door.

"Yeah Jules I'm fine" she said, finding her voice, although a little shaky.

Julia opened the door and peered inside to see her friend sitting on the floor next to the toilet. She stepped inside and made her way over to Lauren, closing the door behind her and taking a seat on the floor next to her.

"Did you just..."

Lauren nodded. She still felt sick but better than before. "It's not important at the moment" Lauren said, ignoring the concerned look on Julia's face at her remark.

"Julia, I'm sorry for this morning... Things got a little bit out of hand, and I've been really emotional lately... but I have a good reason to be defensive..."

"You love Brian" Julia said looking at her friend.

"Yes, I do" Lauren said nodding, causing Julia to smile and hug her gently, not wanting to bring on another vomiting episode.

"But there's more to it than just that..." She continued blushing. "He feels the same way about me"

With this Julia let out a little squeal and started tearing up. "You guys told each other? When did this happen?! Oh My God Lolo you guys are so adorable!"

"Um, well this happened about three weeks ago...and we were a little drunk from going out with the group...we left the club and came back here...and he told me...and I told him...and one thing lead to another..."

Julia's eyes went wide and her hands swiftly clasped over her mouth as she gasped. "OH MY GOD! Seriously? You and Brian...?"

A little embarrassed about sharing this she nodded and looked down in a pitiful attempt to hide her obvious smile.

Julia squealed again and hugged Lauren a little bit tighter than the last time.

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, but we agreed that we would keep it a secret until the right time came to tell everyone at the same time... but that didn't really work out cuz Walker came in on us kissing literally, like 20 minutes ago."

"Oh my god this is too perfect!" Julia exclaimed excitedly.

"Joe thinks it's weird and judging by the expression on Joey's face, I think he thinks so too" Lauren said smiling as she remembered their reactions. It was all quite funny now that it was over.

"No you guys are PERFECT for each other!" Julia squealed again and the two of them started laughing.

Lauren felt so blessed to have such a supportive friend. She took the news better than she would have ever hoped and being able to talk to her, let out all of her excitement and finally share it with her best friend made all her other worries go away.

"So how was it?" Julia asked her.

Lauren blushed again and smiled shyly at her before answering "It was amazing".

The next few days were a bit of a whirlwind. They consisted of band practices for _Jim and the Povolos _as well as the obvious spreading of the news of Brian and Lauren. By the next three days after they told Joey, Walker and Julia, the rest of their group, excluding Darren and a few others who lived further away, knew about them and all wanted to hear the details about what, when and how it all happened. The first few group meetings were a little weird but the group had all begun to get used to the idea of Lauren and Brian as an item. Six days had gone by and _Jim and the Povolos_ were having another band practice in Meredith's apartment. They had been learning some new songs during the past two weeks and this practice in particular had been going for hours. They had all taken their places in the usual pre-laid circle of furniture and they were all beginning to get very frustrated. Lauren hadn't gotten any better over the course of the past few days and had continued to be sick every so often. But after being sick, she would feel fine for several hours only to repeat the cycle again. She tried hard to focus on the songs but her mind kept wondering causing her to miss her cues and mess up the verses.

"Lauren! You are so not with it today! What is wrong with you?!" Meredith snapped, annoyed after the seventh time she missed her cue.

"Sorry..." Lauren replied looking to the ground "I don't think I feel very well...I think I might go home". She got up from her seat and left the apartment quietly as the others watched her go, a little concerned. Brian stared after her, not sure whether to follow or let her go. She looked different today. He couldn't put his finger on it, but there was something new, something special. He couldn't quite find the right word to describe it.

"She didn't look sick to me... I thought she looked good." Jaime said still staring at the door.

"She looks happy. Didn't you see her? She couldn't stop smiling! She's probably just distracted" Dylan commented smirking at Brian.

"She was glowing" added Meredith who felt bad for getting so annoyed at her before. "Like, I don't know, her eyes and her smile... did anyone else notice that?"

There was a general hum of agreement from the group and Brian smiled. _Glowing... yep that's the word._

The honest truth of it all was that Lauren was distracted. Very distracted. And there was one thing on her mind that she couldn't shake. _I'm probably just late... three days late is nothing to be concerned about..._ But even so, she had bought the tests the day before and had decided to wait a few more days until using one, but when she got home and found herself throwing up in the toilet once more she decided she would much prefer to know now.

Her hands were shaking as she unpacked the box and ripped open the plastic cover revealing a small blue and white stick. _Now what? _Lauren had never felt so nervous in her life. Even with her stage fright. What would happen if the test came back positive? What would her family think? What would the fans think? Would she be able to continue being a part of Team Starkid with a baby? Lauren read and reread the instructions on the box over and over to be sure she did it right. They were simple enough; she just didn't want to risk getting an incorrect reading. What about Brian? What would he do? Lauren followed the instructions precisely, set the stick on the sink bench top and sat on the floor leaning up against the wall. Now came the wait, although only three minutes in length, it was the longest three minutes of her life and when the time finally came, she reached up, grabbed the stick and looked at it to see a small blue plus sign. _Shit._


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey guys! Here's the next chapter! So Lauren's pregnant now, How will the others react? I hope you guys enjoy it! xxx**

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Lauren didn't move from her position on the floor of the bathroom for the next hour. She sat in silence sobbing softly, still gripping the pregnancy test. What was she going to do? She wasn't ready for a baby. She was too young….. Financially, how would she be able to support it? _Oh my god Brian! _She hadn't even thought about how this was not only going to change her life but his as well. _How did this happen? _He was definitely the father, but they'd only been together once. What were the chances of this happening? _We used protection though...didn't we? _Lauren strained her memory trying to remember the details of that night, but they were all a blur. _We were drunk we probably didn't use any...why does it matter now? That night is over and now..._She looked down at her tummy and put a hand on it_._ She cried harder now. She heard the apartment door open in the hallway, but didn't move. Julia's voice came from the kitchen as she called out something Lauren didn't hear properly but she remained on the floor of the bathroom crying. She had no idea how to look after a baby. _Shit Mom and Dad! They don't even know I'm dating Brian...what will they think? _Lauren looked at the test stick again. It was definitely positive. She put her head back against the wall and closed her eyes letting the tears fall down her face.

"Lauren? Are you okay?" Julia asked from outside the door.

She tried to answer but her crying made it impossible for Julia to understand anything she had said. Lauren breathed deeper trying to calm herself down, attempting to cease the crying a little but she couldn't. She wasn't sure she even wanted to. All she wanted to do was cry. Julia heard her sobs through the door and opened it. She saw Lauren on the floor near the toilet like she had been only six days ago, crying into her arms which were rested on her knees. Julia ran over to her small friend and sat down beside her, wrapping her arms around her in a tight hug. The two friends sat there for another twenty minutes or so. Julia didn't say anything but let Lauren continue crying, offering the odd soothing sound here and there. She couldn't imagine what had made her so upset. Then she noticed the opened box of pregnancy tests and stifled a gasp. Her mind racing, she didn't know what to do or say to her, but she had to say something. Lauren was her best friend and it was her job to be there for no matter what.

"Lauren... Lo are you..."

Lauren looked up from her knees finally and opened her small hand to reveal the pregnancy test and its bright blue plus sign. Julia sighed and hugged her tighter allowing Lauren to cry into her shoulder.

"Shh Lo it's going to be okay" she said softly trying not to cry herself.

When her tears died away, Lauren sat back leaning against the wall again and looked at the floor in front of her. "Jules what do I do?" She asked; her voice still shaky.

Julia sighed. "Lo I can't tell you what to do. It's ultimately your decision." She watched Lauren and saw her eyes starting to water again. "Lo, listen to me. You know you aren't alone though right? I'm going to be here to support you no matter what you choose." She stood, helping Lauren to her feet. "First, let's get up off the cold floor and maybe continue this in the Lounge room okay?"

Lauren nodded and the pair moved into the lounge room.

"How are you feeling? I mean do you feel sick?" Julia asked when they sat down on the lounge.

"I don't know..." Lauren said looking into her hands that were still tightly gripping the test stick. Julia thought it was a bit gross, I mean she peed on that right? But she was in no way going to say anything to Lauren about it. What's to say she wouldn't do the same thing in her situation?

"Are you going to keep the baby?" Julia asked her after sitting in silence for a moment.

Lauren shrugged, still looking down at her hands.

"Do you want to keep it?"

A small frown grew across Lauren's face as she thought about it still looking at the stick, but she wasn't sad or angry. She thought of the miracle happening at that moment inside her. About the little fingers and little toes; the little person that would be here in just nine months' time and her heart filled with an unexplainable love for the little being that was growing inside her. She looked up and over at Julia smiling slightly and nodded.

"Yes". Julia smiled and hugged her again. "Julia, I don't know what to do now... How do I tell everyone?" She started tearing up again. "What about my parents? What about Bri? Oh My God, what if he doesn't want the baby? We've been dating for like three weeks and I'm already pregnant his child..."

"Lauren. I love you, the guys love you, your parents love you and Brian loves you probably more than all of us put together. More than you know. You have no idea the way his eyes light up when he sees you. You mean the world to him and to all of us. I don't know how it's going to turn out, but I think the first thing you should do, is take another test to be absolutely sure that that one wasn't faulty or whatever. Then you need to tell Brian." Julia stood up and helped her to her feet again. She noticed Lauren was frowning and she added "Lo, I know you're scared, but if he's the father, he has the right to know and the right to decide his role in that baby's life."

Lauren nodded and made her way back into the bathroom. A few minutes later she emerged with the second test and showed Julia revealing a second blue plus sign. Lauren had started crying again and Julia hugged her and wiped a tear from her cheek.

"Lo what is it?"

"I don't know." She cried "I guess I was scared"

"Scared of it being positive?" she asked still holding her friend. But Lauren shook her head.

"Scared of it not being positive." Lauren smiled at Julia who hugged her even tighter. She didn't know how, or why, but she suddenly felt a deep connection with the miracle that was happening inside her. The thought of something so small and so perfect about to come into the world in really, such a short amount of time, the fact that she would soon hold this new life in her arms made everything else in the entire world seem insignificant. "I want to be happy about this. I'm going to be a mom, but I can't do it alone….. Will you help me?"

Julia started to tear up. "Of course I will"

"Okay, no matter what, no one else can know about this before Brian does. Promise you won't say anything." Lauren looked at Julia seriously and she nodded her consent.

It was 3 in the afternoon, and as much as she was dreading it, she needed to tell Brian, and he would've been finished at band practice by now. She got out her phone and pressed the #1 speed dial.

_"Hey Lolo I was actually just about to call! Are you okay? You know Meredith didn't mean to snap earlier she was just stressed-"_

"Bri, I really need to see you... are you busy right now?"

_"No I'm not busy... I'll be right over... Is everything okay? You sound like you've been crying"_ She could hear the concern in his voice so she tried to sound more casual.

"No, no I'm alright, I just really need to tell you something...and it's something that I'd prefer not to do over the phone..."

_"Okay I'm in the car now. I'll be there in ten. Love you"_

"Love you too" Lauren hung up and looked over at Julia who was fiddling around with her keys.

"I'm going to get some grocery items. I'll be back in like an hour or so. That should be enough time for you to tell Brian yes?" She said grabbing her phone and handbag.

"Wait no I need you here for support!" Lauren pleaded.

"Lauren I'll be there for you when you tell the others, but don't you think it would be a little awkward for Brian if I was here?"

Lauren sighed. "I guess..." She knew Julia was right, but she really didn't want to have to do this alone.

Julia, despite some extra pleading from Lauren, left the apartment leaving Lauren to wait for Brian's arrival. She sat at the kitchen bench staring down at the counter. It was so weird to know that there was something growing in her at that moment that would one day be living in this world, running, playing, eventually growing into another adult. She was deep in thought when she heard a knock at the door. She got up and opened the door to see Brian standing there looking worried. The sight of him brought on more tears and she wrapped her arms around him hugging him tightly.

"Lo are you okay? You left in such a rush earlier at practice, I should have followed you, I'm sorry..."

"Shh no Bri. It's okay this isn't about that...well I suppose it kind of is but just come in and I'll explain."

The two of them walked into the lounge room and both sat down on the couch. Brian was watching her very closely. She sighed and turned to face him.

Lauren inhaled deeply. "Uh... Okay... you know how I've been really tired lately, and really emotional..."

Brian nodded without saying a word, listening intently.

"...and really sick...as in, like, vomiting sick" she continued.

Brian's eyes widened slightly. "Do you still have that stomach bug? Do you need a Doctor?" He asked her concerned and putting a hand on her knee.

It was now or never, she had to just say it and get it out there. With another deep breath she told him.

"Bri...I'm pregnant".


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey Hey Hey guys! here's the next chapter! Don't hate me for this one Kay? Love you guys xxx**

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Brian stared at her in silence. _No, no, no I must have misheard her... Yeah cuz there are so many things that sound like the word "pregnant"..._He looked down at his hands frowning_. But she can't be pregnant... _He could feel Lauren's eyes on him_. Shit... no this is a joke... it has to be. _He looked at Lauren hoping to see her smiling like she usually does when they joke around, but she was staring at him with a confused, desperate and scared look on her face. Brian opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out_._

"Bri... Please say something..." Lauren said in almost a whisper.

"...um..." He managed to make a sound, but he didn't know what to say. How exactly was he supposed to respond? They'd been a couple for less than a month in secret, almost a week since their group found out. They'd only slept together once. Apparently once was all it took. "Mine?" He asked looking at her, not sure which of the possible answers he preferred.

"Of course yours..." She said looking relieved that he was finally saying something.

Brian nodded and looked back at his hands, deciding that out of the answers available that was the best one.

"Bri... it's okay...I was scared too..."

"Uh...um...when, ah... how did you find out?" He stammered.

"I honestly had a feeling for the past few days... Actually I started getting symptoms the day we told the Joes and Julia. I bought the tests yesterday...but I was going to wait a few more days, until I got home earlier and threw up again." Brian was still looking at his hands but nodded every so often so she knew he was listening. "Bri... I want to keep it." She said staring at him.

Brian looked up at this point and into her eyes. He knew that she meant it; there was that familiar glow in her eye that she always got when she had her heart set on something.

"Lo...I...I'm not ready to be a father... there are so many things I wanted to do before having kids... we can't be...parent's... we're too immature..." He said bringing his hands to his face and running them through his hair, staring at the floor.

"I think I can do it..." Lauren said softly, not sure she fully understood what he meant by _"__**we're**__ too immature"_

"Lauren, this is a baby... Another human life to take care of! We can barely take care of ourselves!"

_Again with the "__**we**__"!_ "I can to take care of myself!" she exclaimed indignantly "and I have thought about it! The thought of aborting or giving it up isn't even an option for me, I'm sorry I just couldn't do that." Brian didn't say anything and she added "It's not like I'm irresponsible".

"Look at the circumstance that got us in this mess in the first place!" Brian said starting to panic now, breathing heavily. "None of this would have happened if we hadn't gone out with the group and had a few too many drinks..."

Lauren stared at him. What was he saying? "None of it? None of it would have happened?!" She could feel her temper rising and before she knew it she was screaming at him. "So let me get this straight Brian, just so I'm positive that I understand what you're saying here... You're saying that you wouldn't have come over that night, you wouldn't have told me you loved me, and you wouldn't have slept with me if you weren't so pissed off your head?! Is that it?"

"Wait Lo of course that's not wh-"

"This _mess_ doesn't affect _you_. This _mess_ affects ME! I'm the one carrying this child okay," Her eyes started to tear up. "I'm the one who has to deal with my parents, and I'm the one who has to put up with the questions and the looks and the judgement! Pregnant? Not married? Why not? I am the one who has to pay for this! Weather you stay or go. I still have to give birth to YOUR child! YOU did this to me okay?!" Lauren screamed, at him tears now streaming down her face.

Brian made to touch her arm "Lo, I-"

"Don't Touch Me!" She yelled pushing his hand away and standing up. "DON'T touch me because THIS is the _mess_ that comes from it." She continued signalling to her stomach and storming out of the room.

Brian jumped up immediately and raced after her. "Lauren Please wait! That's not what I meant!"

He caught up to her and grabbed her arm just before she escaped into her bedroom. She turned to glare at him, shaking her arm out from his grip. "Don't come in here Brian. Don't come anywhere near me; too many bad memories for you." She yelled, still crying.

"Lauren you can't possibly think that! I told you that night was the best night of my life! You have to believe me! There isn't a thing that happened that night that I regret." He said desperately. "It's the first time it's ever felt so right Lo, the first time it's been so perfect"

Lauren closed her eyes shaking her head. "Too bad it's the last time..."

"Lo please listen to me! I was just shocked! Confused-"

"It doesn't matter what circumstance this baby was created in. It's alive right now, inside me and deserves a loving and caring family, and I'm going to give it that. I don't need you to tell me that I can't raise this baby! I don't need you to complain how hard it's going to be on you. I don't need to hear any more about how much you don't want this baby. I don't need you! I'll do it myself!" Brian stepped forward towards her but she pushed him backwards and turned into her room, slamming the door behind her. Locking it, she walked over to her double bed and collapsed amongst the blankets, crying into her pillow.

Brian stood staring at the door, frozen to that spot. So that's it? That was his relationship with Lauren, the girl he had loved for six long years, over? He felt his heart shattering into a thousand pieces. His eyes were stinging severely and started to water. _No, no it's not over..._ He started to bang on the door of her bedroom. "Lauren, please! Lauren...Lauren!" Lauren didn't answer, but cried harder into her pillow. She really thought that he was the one; that he was going to be the one she would spend the rest of her life with. She was so sure he would understand.


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey guys! Thanks again for the views/reviews/PMs etc. I love you all so much! Special thanks to Beffax3 and TotallyAwesome2727 who pushed me to stop being lazy and update this. I love you guys! Sorry once again, it's not that long... anyway here's the next chapter, Hope you enjoy! xxx**

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Brian sat on the floor outside of Lauren's bedroom crying into his hands. What had he done? How could he have been so insensitive? Why did he have to freak out so much? There was no way he would leave Lauren to fend for herself. There was no way he would run, not after putting her in this situation in the first place. Thinking back on all the things he said, he wondered why he hadn't just picked her up and kissed her. He loved her more than anything, sure he had been shocked but that was understandable right? He was never around little children. He had no idea how to deal with them, however, the thought of a new human being, a mixture of both him and Lopez, the thought of the three of them living together as a family, although scary, was somewhat comforting; almost exciting.

Lauren had been in her room for almost an hour. Brian couldn't hear her crying anymore, but he didn't know what to say. How could he make up for what he said to her? The look of hurt in her eyes was instilled in his mind. He contemplated whether or not to try knocking on the door again. She was both physically and emotionally stressed, _no thanks to me_, and was most likely asleep, so he got his phone out and began typing.

_"Lo,  
I know that what I said was stupid and I'm not going to make excuses. I know that it's going to be hard to forgive me, but I need you to know how much you mean to me. I was an idiot. I freaked out. I never meant to hurt you. It was just Big News. I know I didn't handle it well.  
I'm so sorry that I've put you in this situation Lolo.  
Part of me wishes I could take it back, make it different. The thought of you having to go through all of this because of me just kills me. I'm so sorry Lolo. But the other part of me pictures the three of us as a family. It's what I have always wanted for us, and although I pictured it much further in the future, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I know you are going to be an amazing mom, I just hope you'll forgive me and let me be our baby's dad.  
Lo, I would never leave you. I would never intentionally hurt you. I love you, more than I can put into words. I'm not that great at talking about my feelings, but I can't imagine my life without you. I know a text won't mean much. You deserve so much more. I know there's the chance you probably won't read this but I needed to try. I need you to know how much I love you, and how much I need you. I'm sorry I let you down Lo.  
Please call me.  
I love you._

_Bri xx"_

Brian read and reread his text before pressing send. He knew that she most likely wouldn't answer. He watched the loading bar on his phone fill to the end and listened for the faint sound of Lauren's phone inside her room indicating the message had been sent; then he stood up and headed for the door of the apartment. His heart was heavy and he remembered the scared look in her eyes. It was supposed to be his job to comfort her, to protect her. Instead he let her down, made everything worse. What was wrong with him? He turned the door handle slowly and made to step outside but ran straight into Julia who was looking through her bag.

"Oh God... Brian! You scared the crap out of me! Hey did you-" She stopped short looking at him. His eyes were red and he wore an expression of loss and heart ache. Just as she was about to ask him what happened however, she heard a door close from inside the apartment and the two of them turned to see Lauren standing in the hallway, holding her phone crying fresh tears, but a small smile grew on her face.

"Bri..." She started in a soft voice before breaking down in sobs. Brian rushed to her, wrapping his arms around her.

"Lolo I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry I did this to you...you're right it doesn't affect my life like it affects yours...I was a jerk" Brian had started to tear up again. He tried not to cry in front of her but the overwhelming sense of relief that he felt when he saw her made the task nearly impossible.

Julia awkwardly watched the pair of them. _Do I leave?_ She didn't know what was going on between them but whatever it was, she felt like she shouldn't be there. She quietly closed the door behind her, placed the small bag of grocery items on the kitchen bench and evacuated into her room.

Lauren looked up at Brian with her large, now slightly red and tired looking, but just as beautiful, brown eyes. Brian brought a hand to her face and gently wiping her cheek clean of tears.

"I'm sorry I freaked out Bri…." She said in a small voice. "I'm…. so scared…I was so scared that you wouldn't want the baby and that you'd leave me, I'm sorry I didn't trust you."

Brian hugged her tighter. It occurred to him that he was not only hugging Lauren now, but his child; a son or daughter who were now part of their lives. "Lo, I'd never leave you. I said things that I didn't mean…. I'm sorry I hurt you…"

"It's okay …. I told you, I'm emotional! But I didn't give you a fair go. I've known longer than you have. I had my chance to cry and freak out about it; it wasn't fair for me not to let you have that. It's selfish of me to ignore that it affects you as well as me... I'm sorry..."

Brian smiled at her and kissed her forehead. He looked back down and put a hand on her stomach.

"So we're going to do this?" Lauren smiled up at him.

Brian smiled back and held her even closer to him "Yep, we're going to do this. We're going to have a baby and we're going to be a family" He smiled even wider to himself at this thought and when Lauren looked back up at his face, he moved forward and kissed her sweetly on the lips.


	23. Chapter 23

_**Hey there guys! Sorry about how long it's been since the last update, but I've been SUPER busy with school :( BUT! The next chapter is finally here! (Yay) Okay, It's kinda long, but the first half (in my opinion) was too short to make a separate chapter. Also this chapter is mainly fluff. Next chapter, we'll see some more interesting plot points emerge :P hehe Alright, enough from me, ON TO THE STORY!**_

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Almost an hour had gone by since Julia had returned home, when she finally emerged from her room to find Brian and Lauren on the couch. Brian smiled at her when she came into the room but said nothing. Lauren was curled up asleep in his arms. Julia walked over to the couple and sat on the chair beside them. She smiled back at Brian before saying in a soft voice "So what do you think about all of this?"

Brian looked down at Lauren, stroking her hair and smiled wider. "I can't believe it" He said softly. "It's...crazy, and scary…. and amazing and exciting…."

Julia nodded, still smiling. "So you guys are gonna keep it?"

"Absolutely" He replied.

"Are you okay now? You looked... I dunno, really upset when I ran into you earlier..."

"I guess I didn't take the news so well..." He replied, still feeling quite ashamed of what he said. "I said some stupid things that she took to heart... but there's no way I would leave her like this and absolutely no way I would force her into anything."

Julia smiled. "You seem fine with it now".

Brian was still looking at Lauren and nodded. "Yeah I guess I am". He looked over to Julia and smiled at her. "Jules you're such a good friend. I know how stressed Lauren gets, and this is BIG news. She told me how you were there for her, supporting her with no judgement. Thank you."

"She's like my sister Brian. You guys mean the world to me. Of course I'm going to be here for you. These things happen. We all saw that episode of Friends right?" She said with a smile.

Brian laughed slightly trying not to move too much and wake Lauren "With Rachel and Ross...I guess I acted a bit like he did..."

"You guys are the Ross and Rachel of our group Bri. You've had your ups and downs, but you are so obviously meant to be together."

Brian looked back at Lauren and kissed her gently on the head.

"You really love her, don't you?" Julia said.

"More than anything" He replied without taking his eyes off of her. "How could I not?" It was strange. He wasn't usually so lovey-dovey in front of his friends, in fact, he wasn't usually so lovey-dovey in general, but this whole situation with Lauren had given him a complete change in perspective.

Julia smiled even wider and squealed quietly in delight "Aw Brian you guys are so adorable!" She said getting up and giving him a small hug and friendly kiss on the cheek. "I'm gonna make a hot chocolate did you want one?"

Brian nodded. "Thanks Jules" he said smiling at her before turning back and looking at Lauren. She was so beautiful. He was so lucky to have her, so lucky that they had Julia. The only thing now was telling everyone else. He rested his head against the back of the lounge and closed his eyes temporarily, just as a small smile spread across Lauren's face. She had woken at the sound of their voices, but was too drowsy to open her eyes. What she had heard had made every doubt in her mind go away. He loved her so much. She never realized just how much. The thought made her stomach flip and her heart beat faster. She loved him too, and it was comforting to know that he was just as excited now about the baby as she was. She couldn't wait until they could start living together as a family. She sighed happily and snuggled closer to Brian's chest before drifting back to sleep.

When Lauren awoke she found herself in her bed. A little disoriented she looked around her room for signs of how she got there. She remembered falling asleep in Brian's arms on the couch, and smiled as she remembered their news and looked down at her tummy. She put a hand on it and sighed deeply. She looked closely at it, wondering how big the baby actually was at that moment. Although she was scared she couldn't help but feel happy about it. She slid out of bed, noticing that she was still dressed in her clothes from the day before. She glanced over at her alarm clock which read 7:30 am. She left her room and slowly made her way to the kitchen where she found Julia sitting at the table, working on her laptop, who looked up as soon as she walked into the room and smiled.

"Hey you're up!"

Lauren smiled and rubbed her eyes. "What happened? Where's Brian?" She asked with a yawn.

"You must've been tired! You fell asleep at like 6 yesterday. Brian carried you into your room and left at around 8-8:30." Julia replied. "He said he would come by sometime this morning, like 8 or something, to talk things through with you" She added looking back at the screen.

Lauren nodded and sat down at the table. She looked at the clock on the wall. 7:33 am. She sighed impatiently. She really wanted to see him. "Jules, I never thanked you for yesterday."

Julia looked up at her, and Lauren continued. "You were really there for me. I really needed someone there to talk me through what I should do. You're like my sister Jules, and I'm glad that you know about this. I wouldn't cope without you."

Julia smiled warmly at Lauren before rising out of her chair, as Lauren did the same, and the two friends locked their arms around each other in a tight hug.

"I have no idea what to do now though." Lauren said slumping back into her chair. "Like, how do I even bring it up to the others, or my parents?" Her heart sank a little as she realized all the work that was still ahead of her. "My parents still don't know about me and Bri."

"Well that would be a start..." Julia replied "Oh my god what about Mark?"

Laurens eyes grew alarmingly wide. Her brother Mark had always been protective of her. "He's gonna kill him".

Julia laughed but noticed that Lauren looked concerned. "Lo I'm sure it's going to be okay, your parents know Brian. They love him!"

"That was when he was my best friend." Lauren replied. "He's my boyfriend now. Who knows how they'll react…. not to mention him getting me pregnant!"

"Lo, listen. I know you're stressed, but your parents love you okay? It's going to be alright. And no matter what happens, they can't change the fact that you are pregnant and that you're going to have a baby. Don't worry." Julia said reassuringly putting a hand on her shoulder.

Lauren smiled at her as a knock came at the door. She jumped up from her seat, suddenly full of energy, ran to the door and enthusiastically swung the door open to find Brian standing there smiling at her. When she saw who it was, she jumped up wrapping her arms around his neck. "Brian!"

Brian laughed at her excitement and responded by putting his arms around her, lifting her up and spinning her around. Lauren giggled dizzily.

"Good sleep I guess?" He said slowly putting her down and looking into her eyes.

Lauren smiled brightly at him and stood up kissing him on the cheek. "I missed you" she said a little quieter. Brian smiled warmly at her and hugged her tightly. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine" She replied shrugging. "I actually don't feel sick at all this morning"

"I heard that morning sickness can come and go though..." Julia said. "It's sometimes stimulated by strong smells and even certain foods, so we'll have to be careful"

"Sorry! Jules how are you?" Brian asked realizing he had completely ignored her presence.

"Tired… and sick of writing..." she replied looking back down at her laptop.

"Writer's block?" Lauren asked realizing she had no idea what she was doing or writing about.

Julia nodded. "I have no idea where to go from here..."

"Jules you're one of the most talented writers I know, I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe you just need a break. It's a great story, but you've been at it basically non-stop for weeks" Brian said with a smile.

Lauren felt a rising sensation of guilt through her chest. She had been so focussed on what was happening to her that she had completely ignored the fact that other people continued to live on with their own problems. She had no idea what she was working on or what to say to offer any kind of advice. _Weeks? She's been working on it for weeks? How could I not know this, I'm supposed to be her best friend. We live together…_ Lauren started to tear up. Brian glanced over at her and noticed her eyes changing from her previous happy and excitable glow to the watery state they had been in just the day before.

"Lolo what's the matter?" he asked grabbing her shoulders and hugging her.

Lauren shook her head before saying "I'm such a horrible friend!"

Julia and Brian looked at each other in alarm. "Lo why would you say something like that?" Julia asked her anxiously.

"I... you are so supportive of me... And I didn't even know you were writing again! I'm so selfish! What kind of best friend am I?!" She cried.

Brian looked at her in astonishment. What just happened? Just a minute ago she was giggling and excitable and happy. Now she was in tears, crying about not knowing what book Julia was writing.

"Lo! Don't say that! You're my best friend! You aren't selfish sweetie; you've had a lot on your plate! I completely understand! I think you're a great friend!" Julia said. She had gotten out of her seat and was now hugging Lauren who was smiling slightly.

"I'm sorry" she said wiping her eyes. "I just feel like I've been so wrapped up in myself, I haven't even asked you how you are or what you're doing."

"Don't worry about me I'm fine! Give yourself a break Lo you're pregnant. That's what we need to focus on at the moment." Julia said. Lauren nodded, still a bit teary and looked over at Brian who, although still unsure of what had happened smiled at her and put his arms out for her. Lauren smiled and stepped closer to him hugging him tightly.

"Lo, we need to talk about what we are going to do here... I mean like how we're going to tell everyone and stuff" Brian said still holding her tightly.

"Maybe... maybe we just won't tell them...?" She said half smiling and looking up into his eyes.

"You know we can't do that..." Brian said softly.

She sighed and then said "What will my parents think? They don't even know I'm seeing anyone..."

Brian nodded. He didn't have this problem to worry about. He had his sister Katie of course, but both his parents were dead. "You won't have to do it alone" He said to her. "I'll be here. I put you in this situation and I'm going to be here with you every step of the way."

Lauren smiled at him. "Phone call?"

Brian sighed. "I guess so... but it's big news to share over the phone..."

"Great!" she said and ran over to the phone in the kitchen. "I'll do it now" and with that disappeared into her room.

About half an hour later she returned looking down at the floor and slowly made her way through the kitchen and quietly hung up the phone.

"What happened?" Julia asked her.

"Mum answered... and we talked a little, and then she asked if I was seeing anyone. I told her I was seeing Brian..." at this point she looked back up and smiled at him. "She was actually happy about it."

Brian smiled, hiding a sigh of relief. "What did she say?"

"Just that she always thought you were a "_nice respectful boy who would treat me right"_ and all that."

Brian smiled wider. "Of course, Parents just love me"

"I can't Imagine why" She replied, smiling cheekily at him as he rolled his eyes.

"Then what happened?" Julia asked

"I... uh well she put my dad on and he was alright with the idea of the two of us... then they invited us over for dinner in two weeks, on Friday night, and I said we'd be there and I hung up"

Brian and Julia looked at each other and then back to Lauren. "You didn't tell them you were pregnant?" Brian asked.

"Umm... Well I couldn't! They were all happy and saying all this stuff and you said yourself it was something to say to them face to face and now we can do that, on Friday."

"Fine, but Lo they have to know" Brian said.

"I know, I know! Oh and Mark will be there too..."

Brian froze. _Shit_. Don't get me wrong, he liked Mark. They got along pretty well, it's just he knew how much Mark loved Lauren and how he had acted towards so many of her boyfriends in the past. He was extremely protective of his little sister and Brian was not looking forward to having to explain that he was the one who knocked her up.

"I'm sure it's going to be fine guys" Julia intervened. "So that's your parents and Mark out of the way... what about Katie, Brian?"

"I actually called her last night and told her." Brian said then looked to Lauren "Sorry, Lo I just really needed to tell someone and-"

"Bri, its fine! I know how close you guys are!" Lauren said smiling at him. "So that's our blood relatives pretty much done! Okay we can do this!" She said.

"Now our extended family..." Brian said.

Lauren nodded looking to the ground. She loved the Starkids more than anything in the world and even though she was only four weeks in, she knew it was the right thing to do.

"Are you going to be alright for practice this afternoon?" Brian asked her.

"Yeah I should be alright...Oh you think we should tell them then?" Lauren said nervously.

"If you're not comfortable with it that's fine, but they will find out eventually..."

Lauren nodded again and sighed deeply. She just wanted to be happy and pregnant and with Brian. All of this other stuff was just making it stressful. Brian noticed her expression and added "Darren's going to be there tonight, remember?"

Lauren smiled at this. She had forgotten all about the fact that Darren was going to be part of this next production. She hadn't seen him for almost two months now and missed him a lot. He was like a brother to her.

"Okay, we'll see how it goes tonight" Lauren said smiling up at Brian. _This will be interesting... Darren doesn't even know about me and Brian yet..._

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**_OMG okay guys I couldn't post this without some sort of mention of AVPSY! OMG WHO CRIED CUZ I DID! haha love you guys xx_**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey guys! Sorry this took so long, It's been super busy at school at the moment, but I hope you guys like this chapter, and had/are having a FANTASTIC Easter/long weekend/beginning of holidays! Haha love you guys xxx**

**OOH P.S. this has a brief moment of swearing in it (towards end) so if you are offended by this...sorry :P**

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Brian stayed at Lauren and Julia's apartment for the rest of the day, talking about the baby and how they would break the news to their friends.

"Just say 'Look guys we have something to tell you... Lauren's pregnant; we're going to have a baby!'" Julia suggested.

"It's too shocking! There has to be an easier way to say it, I mean Darren still doesn't know about us..." Lauren replied shaking her head.

"What about, as you guys know Lauren and I have been seeing each other for four weeks or so now, and you all know what happened that night, but there's something else that you don't know..." She tried again.

"That seems a bit long winded. I don't know about Lauren but I only want to speak as long as I have to." Brian said with a sigh. This was going to be harder than he thought.

"Alright well you come up with something" Julia said in exasperation after her fifth suggestion had been turned down.

"First maybe I should just talk to Darren and tell him that we're seeing each other, so he can at least settle with that news first, and then tell the others?" Lauren suggested

They agreed and before they knew it, it was time for rehearsal. They travelled together; Brian offered to drive his own car there and back. When they entered the hall where they were practicing, Jaime, Walker, Meredith, Joey and Dylan were already there to greet them.

"Hey Jules, long time no see!" Meredith said when she came over to give her a hug. She then turned to Lauren and her face fell slightly. "Hey... I'm sorry if I upset you yesterday Lo, it's not your fault, especially if you've had that bug that's been going around...I was just getting stressed out...I feel really bad for snapping at you, I mean, it's not like I'm the boss or anything so I really shouldn't have been so bitchy..."

Lauren smiled at her "No it's fine, I'm sorry I know I was being a pain" and hugged her glancing at Brian over Meredith's shoulder.

At that moment the door behind them burst opened and Darren stepped inside grinning widely at his friends. "That's right I'm here!" He exclaimed to giggles and chokes of laughter from the Starkids. Lauren ran up to him and gave him a big hug.

"Oh My God I missed you Criss!" She exclaimed excitedly.

"Me too Lopez! Hey,you've gained weight!" He joked gently poking her in the stomach and laughed at the expression of horror on her face.

"I HAVE NOT!" she retorted. She glanced around the room for a second before her eyes fell towards her stomach and looked to see if anything looked different. She didn't think she looked any different and it was stupid to even suppose that she would see anything this early on, but a little deflated, she looked over at Brian who rolled his eyes but smiled at her and shook his head reassuringly.

"Who are we still waiting on?" Darren asked no one in particular.

"Denise, Moses, Rosenthall, Jim, Clarke..." Jaime replied.

"Alright, so nearly everyone okay!" He interrupted, a little impatiently.

Julia rolled her eyes, smiling. It was just like Darren to want to get started straight away. He was one of those 'go with the flow' kinds of people, but when he wanted something he wasn't too impressed if he had to wait around for it. She was glad he was there. She could see how much he missed it and how much hanging out with his best friends meant to him. She couldn't wait for them all to get started, just like old times.

The Starkids went back to what they were doing, forming small groups of conversation as they waited for the others to arrive. Lauren glanced subtly at Brian who smiled and nodded at her. She gave a deep breath and turned to Darren who was still standing beside her.

"Um..." she started, clearing her throat. "So, Darren...I have to-"

"Can we talk in private?" He interrupted her quickly in a hushed tone, oblivious to the fact that she had even spoken. She nodded and followed him outside. The sun was beginning to set now and the sky was a mixture of bright orange and the deep Indigo of the approaching night sky. She shivered slightly at the cool breeze. Darren sighed and looked at her but remained silent for a moment.

"What's up?" Lauren asked a little concerned at the expression on his face. He wasn't really the serious type.

"I really missed you Lauren" He said softly.

"I missed you too" she replied smiling, but he didn't smile back.

"This is hard for me to say Lauren... but I hate being away from you. All of this time, I think I've been lying to myself..."

Lauren stared at him, shocked. What was he saying?

"I had all of this time to think about it and I've tried to move on..."

She'd been in this situation before. Her breath caught in her throat and her mind was racing as she started to panic. She searched her brain for something to say to stop him.

"...but the truth is...I love you."

Lauren stood in shocked silence. Darren loved her? "Umm Darren I-"

"All I want is for you to feel the same way about me. I know we have a connection. A chemical connection that I don't have with anyone else." He continued and stepped a little closer.

Lauren stumbled backwards hitting the outside wall of the building behind her. Darren put a hand to her arm, and gently stroked it as he watched her.

"Darren, you know I love you..." She desperately searched for the right words to say but after a long pause, realised she had left the sentence at that. Before she knew it Darren had stepped closer to her again and kissed her on the lips. Shocked and confused she pushed him back gasping. How could this happen? Why now?

"No! Darren, I'm with someone... I'm with Brian. Brian Holden your best friend." She said her voice breaking as she started to cry.

Darren looked at her in shock. She could see the confusion and embarrassment in his face. "When did this happen? I mean, you guys were pretty close friends but I never thought…..what happened?"

"Daren, we've been together for the past month..."

Darren sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "A month..." he repeated softly to himself. He turned away from her, letting out a large, shaky sigh. "You love him?" He asked her.

"Yes." She breathed quietly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes" She repeated.

Darren could feel his eyes watering, but he couldn't cry; he wouldn't do it in front of her. His breathing became louder as he tried to calm down. "How do you know?"

"What?" she asked frowning.

"How do you know you love him?" he repeated loudly.

Lauren stared at him a little taken back by his sudden outburst. "I know, because he makes me feel good inside, he makes me happy and I know he feels the same way about me…." She answered.

"We have that." He said bluntly. He sounded annoyed.

"Well I guess, but-"

"You said yourself that you love me"

"Yes, but-"

"It seems to me Lauren that you haven't thought through what your relationship with Brian really is. Is it love or is it just Lust?"

"What?!"

"Well have you slept with him?"

"That's none of your business!"

"How do you know when you won't give me a shot? You can't say that kiss didn't mean something to you Lauren. We were together once before, that's right, I still remember. In college, we were drunk but I remember our night together. I regret not chasing after you sooner, but I'm chasing after you now."

"Darren I'm with Brian, and I love Brian. I love you too, but not the way you love me..."

"I'm not going to give up on you. I know you feel it as well. You'll soon see that it's me you want, not Brian."

"Brian is supposed to be your best friend! God! I don't even know you anymore! What happened in college happened a long time ago, and you know what? You weren't the only fling that I had in college okay? And you're too late! Tell you why? I'm pregnant! YES Darren, PREGNANT with Brian's baby and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love Brian more than anything, and for you to suggest that I even consider hurting him is absolutely unbelievable!"

"You're pregnant?" Darren stared at her in astonishment.

Lauren glared at him but didn't say a word.

"Lauren, you can't be serious! He knocked you up?! I'm gonna kill him!"

"Don't you go anywhere near him Darren." She said trying to hold back more tears.

"Fuck, how could this happen?" Darren was fuming. This was all going so wrong.

"I can't see you right now Darren, I have to go."

"Don't worry, you won't have to" He replied.

Lauren looked at him confused.

"I can't fucking sit here and watch you have Brian's baby. I can't believe he did this to you! You're still so young! He's destroyed your future by a stupid, drunken mistake!" He turned and walked away, running his hands through his curly hair.

She stared after him a moment, unsure whether, after that comment, she wanted to call after him, but decided against it and ran back into the hall slamming the door behind her.


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey guys! Here's the next Chapter! Oh a HUGE THANK YOU and WELCOME! To all my new followers! Love you guys! And of course thank you to you guys who have been with me EVERY STEP OF THE WAY! I LOVE YOU! Okay, so please enjoy! and PLEASE review! Love you xxxx**

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When Lauren came back into the hall, the others had arrived, but they had not yet started rehearsal. She scanned the room for Brian and spotted him in the corner with Joey and Julia. Without another thought she bolted towards him. He turned to see her just as she threw herself into his arms crying hysterically and burying her face into his chest.

"Oh My God what happened Lolo?!" He asked in alarm. Joey and Julia crowded closer towards the couple, concerned.

"It's Darren" She cried.

"What happened? Where is Darren?" He asked her.

"He... he kissed me….he said he loved me and he kissed me…." She said in a soft voice that was muffled by his shirt, barely heard between her sobs.

"He kissed you?" Brian asked in shock. "What did you do?"

"I pushed him away and I told him that I was with you" she sobbed. He attempted to pull away a little so he could see her face but she gripped onto him tighter, not wanting to let go.

Brian didn't know what to say. What did this mean exactly? She was pregnant with his baby, but was she going to leave him for Darren? The two of them were really close, and he was pretty sure something happened between them in the past. Was that enough for her to choose Darren over him?

Brian sighed. "...do you love him back?"

Lauren pulled away from him and looked him in the eye. "How could you think that? Of course I don't!"

"Where is he?" Joey asked from beside Brian and Julia.

"He left." She replied before looking back at Brian "I told him."

"You told Darren?"

She nodded. "Bri I'm so sorry, it didn't mean anything to me I swear!"

"I believe you Lo, don't apologize, it's not your fault." He said holding her in another tight embrace.

"Bri, I can't stay here tonight, what if he comes back?" She said softly. There was no way she'd be able to tell everyone now, not while she was in this state, and if Darren did return, she wasn't sure she'd be able to face him right now. Brian nodded.

"Okay, I'll drive you home." He said quietly.

"Wait what's happening?" Joey asked. "Is everything okay? What did you tell Darren?"

Brian hesitated. He wasn't sure how to respond. Lauren obviously wasn't in the right state to have this conversation. "I'll explain later..." he said looking at the pair of them. Joey looked extremely concerned and a little more confused than Julia was. "Guys I'm taking Lauren home. Julia... I'll come back for you after practice? Or..."

Julia didn't reply. She was wearing a frown and seemed to be in her own little world. Her eyes were almost closed and her face had gone red. She was so deep in thought that she didn't even notice Joey nudge her.

"...Jules?" Bran asked her, staring at her expression.

Julia shook her head and came back into reality. "Oh, I'll uh...I'll just catch a cab, don't worry about it" She smiled quickly and turned to walk away without giving them eye contact.

Brian frowned. That was weird. He'd never seen Julia like that. She seemed so uneasy. Her smile was almost false. He couldn't imagine why, but before he could call after her his eye caught Lauren's broken gaze. She was still crying and staring into the distance with a stressed and confused look on her face and so he hugged her tightly, nodded a goodbye at Joey then exited the building with an arm still wrapped around her.

The car trip home was silent. Lauren was quietly sobbing in the passenger seat, trying to steady her breathing and looking out the window. She loved Darren, and perhaps there was a time she did have feelings for him, but since college she had come to think of him as more of a brother figure. She supposed it did make some sense. He was very protective of her, and always there for her. He meant a lot to her too and she didn't want to lose him. She didn't mean to hurt him. Lauren glanced over at Brian. He hadn't said a word since they had left the auditorium and was wearing a pained expression.

"Brian, I'm so sorry this happened..."

He looked over and into her eyes. "Why do you keep apologizing? It didn't mean anything did it?"

Lauren thought for a moment. She remembered back to the kiss. It was good. Quite good actually, and had she been expecting it, she may have enjoyed it more. It certainly had shocked her, but she wasn't entirely sure what she thought about it. A sickening feeling of guilt rose in her chest at this thought. She loved Brian. Of that she was certain; but Darren's kiss opened her mind to many questions that she wasn't sure she could answer on her own.

"It did?" Brian asked her as she had not yet responded to his question.

"Bri, I love you more than anything in the world. I love Darren, everyone knows that, but not the same way I love you. There's no way I would choose him over you."

Brian smiled and reached over grabbing her small hand, squeezing it gently. Lauren smiled at him. He was so, understanding. The problem was that the rest of the group still didn't know about the pregnancy and Darren had gone off somewhere probably hurt and confused.

When they reached the apartment, Brian stayed with her and made them both a hot chocolate. The two of them sat on the lounge snuggled close to each other and talked.

"It's the universe's way of telling us we shouldn't tell them" Lauren said quietly.

Brian laughed at her. "Lauren I know you hate confrontation but, can you imagine how hurt they'd be if they found out we had been keeping it from them?"

Lauren sighed. "Can you tell them?"

"How about this, you told Julia, kind of, and you had to deal with Darren. I'll tell Joey and Joe, and the others we can kind of pick off one by one."

She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder, taking another sip of her hot chocolate.

The next day all Lauren could think of was Darren. Where had he gone? She didn't mean to hurt him, but she just didn't feel that way about him. Sure she had at one point. But that was in her first year of college. They had a fling and it was over. It was never going to be a long-term relationship. Brian had gone home the night before. She wondered if he had told Joey or Walker yet but before she could even ponder their reactions the phone in the kitchen rang.

"Hello?"

"_Hey Lo it's me" _Came the familiar voice

"Bri! Did you tell them?"

"_Well no… but there is a perfectly acceptable explanation as to why…._" He replied. He sounded annoyed and in a bit of a rush.

"Why? What's wrong? And where are you?" She asked concerned.

_"I'm on my way to work." _He said_. "I got home last night and pretty much went straight to bed because no one was home yet. I figured I could tell Joey and Walker in the morning but when I woke up, guess who was sitting on my fucking couch."_

Lauren didn't answer, but she knew the answer.

"_I swear you should've seen his face when he saw me."_

"But what was he doing there?!" Lauren said starting to panic. She told Darren not to go anywhere near Brian.

"_That's what I asked Walker. He said that Darren needed a place to crash and he offered him a lift back to our apartment. Darren obviously had no idea that I was living with them."_

"Oh my god everything is such a mess" Lauren sighed into the phone. "What happened?"

_"Well Walker asked what happened to me at rehearsals last night."_

"Didn't Joey tell him?"

_"Joey apparently went back to Meredith's along with some of the others. And so I just said that you needed to be taken home."_

"What was Darren doing through all of this?"

_"He just sat there acting like none of it was his fucking fault_!" Brian said. He sighed and tried to calm down. He didn't want to upset Lauren._ "I can't live there with him Lauren, it's too weird. Walker noticed how I was acting weird and asked me what the problem was. I just said to ask Darren and stormed out."_

"Bri I'm so sorry…." Lauren didn't know what to do about the whole Darren situation. "What time do you finish work? You could stay here for a while….?"

_"Thanks Lo. Not tonight though, I have the late shift….. Ugh I just can't look at him at the moment…. Does that make me a dick? I know it's not his fault, he didn't know about us and if he had he probably wouldn't have kissed you, but I can't help it….I just feel...like, really protective over you…." _

Lauren smiled slightly at his comment. She decided to leave out the details of what Darren had said. His and Brian's relationship would be rocky enough from now on without the added drama. "You're not a dick" She said sweetly. "It's actually really cute that you feel that way"

Brian sighed a little into the phone._ "I better go. So I'll see you later then?" _

"Okay have fun at work. Love you Bri"

_"Love you Lolo"._

Lauren sighed as she hung the phone up. At least she knew where Darren was. She turned and walked over to the kitchen table, and sat down, staring into space. After a few moments she sighed again and stood up shaking her head. She needed to talk to him. She couldn't leave things like that between them.


	26. Chapter 26

**Hey there guys! How's things? I've had some trouble uploading this chapter (stupid fricking computers). Anyway after the EXCESSIVE begging of TotallyAwesome277 and Beffax3 the next chapter is finally here! Don't hate me too much, kay? xxx Love you guys!**

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Lauren sat in the back of the cab, staring out the window. She knew what she was doing was stupid, and she knew if Brian found out he would completely freak out, but in her eyes, she didn't have much choice. The cab stopped outside of Brian's building. She paid the driver and headed the 6 flights up to his apartment. When she arrived she knocked on the door.

"Coming" Darren's voice came from inside the apartment. Lauren breathed deeply as the door opened. "Hey J- Oh, Lauren….. Uh what are you doing here?"

"I just, didn't want to leave things between us the way they were last night." She said.

Darren didn't say anything so she continued. "I see you've found a place to stay…."

Darren nodded again but still didn't say anything. It was weird, seeing him so quiet.

"So, can I come in?"

He moved out of the way and she walked past him sitting down on the couch in the next room. He followed her and sat beside her.

"Lauren I'm sorry about last night. I just, really wish you felt the same way about me…" He said quietly.

Lauren nodded. "It's okay, Darren. I know."

"I'm really sorry for what I did... I was just worked up…. Brian's always been such a loyal friend and what does that make me?"

"He doesn't blame you. You didn't know about us when you kissed me. He's just stressed out about it. But what you said last night wasn't cool…" Darren looked down at his hands without saying anything. "…and you being here is really awkward for him"

Darren looked up at this. "Where am I supposed to go? Joe offered me a place to stay and I took it. I didn't know Brian lived here too, I've been in LA!" He exclaimed. An awkward silence fell between them before Lauren sighed and moved on.

"You haven't told anyone yet have you?"

"About your…. situation? No. After I cooled down a little I accepted that it wasn't my place to spread it around. I didn't know if anyone else knew so…"

"Thank you." She replied a little relieved. "You and Julia are the only two that know and I'd like it to stay that way until I can get my head cleared."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well I'm just really confused at the moment Dare and last night didn't really help matters."

"So it did mean something to you? The Kiss."

"No…." she replied but her voice had suddenly gone shaky as an internal argument erupted in her head.

"That didn't sound too convincing" Darren replied, not trying nearly hard enough to hide his obvious smile.

"Why does it matter? I'm with Brian, I love him." She replied, trying to clear her head but too much was going on in there.

"It matters." He said seriously.

"I…. I can barely remember it okay, I was in shock" Lauren looked up into his face as Darren smiled that cute, goofy smile that she was sure could quite literally melt any girl's heart.

Her head was spinning. She couldn't think clearly. She looked into Darren's eyes, big and puppy-like, she wasn't quite sure how long they were staring at each other. He put a hand on her cheek, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. She was lost in his eyes, suddenly unaware of everything else.

"Let me remind you" he said softly as he leant forward and kissed her tenderly on the lips. Everything passed by in a blur. It didn't even register until she felt herself kissing him back. Her mind was screaming. She wanted to pull away, but it was like she no longer had control over her body. The kiss grew in passion as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in closer, but it felt wrong. It didn't feel the same as when she kissed Brian. Sure it was romantic, full of hunger, steam, but when she kissed Brian, she felt loved, protected, special, like she never wanted it to end. Finally, her mind regained control of her body and she pushed him back gasping. Her eyes filled with tears almost instantly as she realized what she'd just done. Darren stared back at her in shock from her sudden act.

"I can't Darren. I can't. I love Brian. I have to go." She said standing up.

"Lauren wait" Darren said going to grab her arm.

Lauren shook her head, batting his hand out of the way. "I have to go."

As she turned however, she saw the person who had been standing in the doorway watching the scene unfold. Julia's face was full of shock, disgust and anger, her eyes tearing up.

"Julia….." Lauren started. Julia shook her head eyeing the two of them dangerously before turning and storming out of the apartment

"Shit" Darren cursed under his breath. "Sorry I forgot she was coming over"

Lauren shook her head crying and ran out of the apartment, grabbing her bag on the way out. She could hear Darren calling after her but it didn't matter. As she burst through the doors of the building, the harsh cold breeze hit her face, stinging her eyes. She called a cab and got in, still crying. She didn't even attempt to look remotely normal as she climbed in. The driver glanced at her awkwardly.

"Where to?" He asked gently.

She gave him her address and continued sobbing quietly to herself. What had she done? It all seemed so surreal to her. She'd never considered herself a cheater, but that's exactly what she'd just done. She'd cheated on Brian. It was just a kiss, but that didn't matter, in her eyes, it was the same thing and she felt like the worst person in the world. She tried to steady her breathing, but she couldn't do it. Her heart felt like it was quickly filling with a thick, sickening liquid. She felt it consume her, as her hands started to shake. She rested them on her stomach, in an attempt to stop them, but as she glanced down and remembered, felt even more guilt engulf her. She was pregnant with Brian's baby, and here she was making out with other guys, while he was at work, trying to earn money for them.

The cab pulled up outside Lauren's building. Despite the fact that she had been staring out the window, she didn't notice that the car had stopped, until the cab driver turned to look at her.

"Miss, we're here…" he said softly to her.

She jumped slightly at his voice, and turned to look at him. "Oh sorry" she sniffed still crying. She didn't care anymore. She didn't care what he thought. She didn't care what anyone thought. She didn't deserve their respect. She was scum; the type of person you wished would just be killed off on those late night TV shows; the ones who didn't deserve the love of the main character; the hero. She opened her purse in search of her wallet.

"Uh, don't worry about it, it's on me" The driver said kindly.

She looked back up at him shocked and confused.

"You have enough on your plate…" He added.

She smiled, just barely at him. "I don't deserve it" She said quietly shaking her head, returning to her wallet and pulled out some money and handed it to the driver. "Thank you anyway."

The Driver smiled and accepted the money. "Whatever it is Miss, just remember that life goes on. It doesn't stop. It doesn't move in reverse. It constantly moves forward. We can't change the past. Living in the past is a waste of the future. I'd hate to see a young girl, like you, trapped in her past."

She sat quietly, in slight amazement at the driver, going over what he had just said. "What if my past, affects my future?" She sniffed after a moment of silence. "What I've done could ruin everything…."

"The past merely sets the course for the future. It is the present that guides it."**(A/N an anonymous quote for the purpose of the story…. Yeah moving on)**

Lauren didn't say anything. She sat in the back of the cab as she pondered what the man was saying. Subconsciously she placed a hand on her belly and began to stroke it. She couldn't feel anything yet. She wouldn't show for a couple of months, but somehow it reminded her that she wasn't alone.

"And Congratulations" The driver smiled kindly.

She smiled and nodded at him. "Thank you" She opened the door. "Really, thank you."

The cab driver nodded and once she had stepped out and closed the door, merged back in to the flow of traffic and drove away. Lauren watched the car until she couldn't tell it apart from the others. The kindness of that man had shocked her. It was amazing how a total stranger and their perspective on life could have such an effect on her. She sighed and headed inside, beginning the four flight climb to her own apartment. What she really needed right now was her best friend. The problem was, she wasn't sure if she still had one.

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**Okay, so... love you guys? haha please review and let me know what you thought XD xxx**


	27. Chapter 27

**HEY GUYS! Okay, I know that I may have crushed a few feels, (sorry?) but here's the next one :) Hope you guys like it!**

**WARNING! This chapter has coarse language. If you are offended at all by this, feel free to skip this chapter. (Although the next chapter probably won't make sense, and you'll miss some good drama, still each to their own).**

**Alrighty, here it goes!**

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"Hey Jules it's me again… look, I really need to talk to you, I have to explain…..please, when you get this message…..just please call me…bye" Lauren hung up and slumped back into the couch. It had been four days since she'd gone over to Brian's apartment, and she had only seen Julia once since she'd stormed out. That was two days ago. She had walked into the kitchen, and past Lauren who was sitting at the table. Lauren got up and attempted to speak but Julia left so quickly that Lauren had barely said two words before she was gone. Lauren could understand why Julia would be angry, but she seemed to have taken it personally, and for the life of her, Lauren couldn't figure out why.

Lauren still hadn't told Brian about what happened. How could she? She knew that she couldn't keep it from him forever, but how do you tell the man you love so much that you've gone behind his back, and made out with his best friend? After promising him that there was nothing going on. She had chosen not to call him and so hadn't heard from him since then. She didn't know what to do.

Her phone started to buzz and she glanced down, half expecting to see Darren's photo. He had called eight or so times since that day, but she had ignored each one. She didn't want to talk to him. She didn't want to see him at all. Part of her blamed him for what happened. As she looked down at her phone, still vibrating she saw Brian's picture glowing up at her. She sighed and picked it up to answer it. She missed talking to him. Sure it had only been four days, but it didn't feel. They would usually call one another or at least send a text to each other every day.

"Hey Bri" She greeted, trying to sound cheerful.

_"Hey Lo, I... uh well we haven't spoken in a while, and I guess that's kind of my fault, I've just been really busy with work, and I've been taking extra hours…"_

"Bri, its fine…"

_"No Lo, it isn't."_

"Seriously, I…I've been super busy too… wait, extra hours? What do you mean?"

_"Well, I've put you in this situation and it's my job to make sure everything's going to be alright."_ He answered matter-of-factly.

"Brian this pregnancy is as much my fault as it is yours…" She replied in a small voice.

_"I know, but I want to be there for you and I just… can't provide for you with my normal hours alone…."_

Lauren's eyes welled up with tears and she breathed shakily into the phone. She didn't know what to say. The fact that he was taking up extra hours at a job that she knew he really hated, so he could provide for her and their baby; it was the biggest act of love and devotion she had ever experienced. And it made her feel even guiltier. She knew she had to tell him what happened, but it was something that had to be done face to face.

She sighed before speaking again. "I love you so much" She said trying to stop herself from crying.

_"I know"_ Brian replied, smiling widely. It still gave him that warm glow every time she said it. _"So you're coming to rehearsal tonight right?"_

"Yeah I am…."

_"Well I can drop by later and we could go together?"_

"Okay, sounds good"

_"Cool so I'll see you later then?"_

"Yeah, yeah I'll see you soon…" Lauren sighed and paused for a moment for speaking again, just before Brian hung up. "Hey Brian?"

_"Yeah Lolo?"_

"I really do love you…so, so much…" She said softly, her voice wavering at the end of her sentence.

_"I love you too Lauren… Are you okay?"_

"Yeah, I… just really wanted you to know that…"

Brian smiled. _"Don't worry Lolo, I know. You know I love you too though, right?"_

"Yeah I know"

_"Okay, well I'll see you later then."_

"Okay…"

_"Bye" _

Brian hung up as she whispered a quiet "Bye" in reply.

Lauren sat in the passenger seat silently, fiddling with a loose thread on the sleeve of the top she was wearing. Brian had arrived to pick her up and they were now traveling to rehearsal. She could feel Brian's gaze as he glanced over at her occasionally, but she didn't look at him.

"Lauren?" He asked in a quiet tone.

She glanced up quickly at him and noticed his concerned expression. "Yeah?"

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Uh huh, why?"

"You're just super quiet… you're not feeling sick are you?"

Lauren sighed, but shook her head. The car came to a stop outside the auditorium and Brian pivoted in his seat to face her, staring at her seriously.

"Lo. You know you can tell me anything, right? There's something bothering you. I know you well enough to know when something's wrong." He put a hand on her leg and smiled warmly at her.

Lauren let out a shaky breath and looked back at him worriedly. Her stomach began churning uncomfortably and she inhaled deeply to try to stop herself from tearing up. Brian stroked her knee reassuringly. She had to tell him eventually. She wished she that wasn't the case, but she had to. He had to know, and so with a large gulp of air, she began. "Uh…It's just that…. On Monday, I kind of went to see Darren…"

Brian stopped stroking her leg but left his hand there. The warm smile fell from his face as he frowned slightly, leaving a concerned expression. "Okay…"

"I just felt like, we needed to clear everything up, that's the only reason I went over there…" she continued quickly. Brian looked down momentarily and she watched his face as he thought over what she had said. Her breathing was getting heavier, and she could feel her heart beat increasing in speed. Suddenly the memory flooded back into her mind and she remembered how Darren had pulled her in, how he kissed her passionately, how she couldn't help but kiss him back. Lauren shut her eyes tightly, trying to force the thought out of her head, as tears began to leak down her cheeks.

Brian sighed and nodded, accepting what she had told him. _That's not so bad… they were really close…_ but when he glanced back up at her and saw her now tear-streaked face, his heart sank. "That's not all is it?"

She shook her head, letting out her first real sob. Brian moved his hand off her knee, and ran them both through his hair.

"So you…uh so…you, you s…. you slept with him?" Brian chocked. He could barely say those words. He couldn't believe this was happening. He felt his heart shattering and his eyes started to water at the thought of it. The thought of him, the thought of him touching her. It sickened and angered him. He felt his face heating up as the anger began to take over.

"No! No, of course not! It was just a kiss" Lauren answered quickly. "And I swear it doesn't mean anything!"

"Don't give me that Lauren! Don't give me that bullshit! That's what you said at the last rehearsal. You told me it was nothing. You told me it didn't mean anything! You said you wouldn't choose him over me!" He exclaimed raising his voice in frustration.

"It doesn't mean anything! I would never choose him over-"

"Don't you see?! God! You already have! You chose him when you kissed him!" He yelled. Brian inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself down, but every time he closed his eyes, he pictured her with him.

"Brian please, I never meant for this to happen, I love you so much" She sobbed desperately.

Brian shook his head. "Who initiated it?"

Lauren stared at him scared, but remained silent.

"LAUREN! JUST, FUCKING ANSWER ME! I need to know who initiated the Kiss" He yelled.

Lauren breathed shakily before answering him in a voice tinier than she was. "Darren." She could see the hurt and anger in his eyes, but before she could do or say anything else, Brian opened the car door and got out, slamming the door shut. Lauren hastily got out of the car and followed him as he stormed into the auditorium.

Brian's mind was spinning. Darren. One of his oldest and closest friends had gone behind his back and kissed his pregnant girlfriend. Brian burst through the doors angrily, followed by a panicked Lauren, who stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed Darren talking with Jaime, Joey, Walker and some of the other StarKids closer towards the stage.

The next thing she knew, Brian had approached Darren aggressively, grabbing him by the shirt and shoving him into the wall behind him.

"HOW DARE YOU SHOW UP HERE" Brian yelled. "WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!"

The group looked on, astonished as Darren shoved him back. "I don't know what you're talking about…"

Brian made to punch him but Joey and walker grabbed his arms, holding him back and preventing him from making another attack on Darren.

Brian pushed at Joey and Joe, freeing himself from their grip.

"Brian Please!" Lauren begged, but he ignored her.

"SO, WHAT? YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST GO AROUND KISSING WHOEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT?"

Darren remained silent, and glanced around quickly at the shocked looks on his friends' faces"

"Tell them. GO ON!" Brian yelled, picking up on who he was looking at.

"Brian, look, it was a mistake.." Darren replied calmly, which only infuriated Brian further

"NO! YOU FUCKING KNEW! YOU KNEW WE WERE TOGETHER! I KNOW YOU KNEW! SHE FUCKING TOLD YOU!"

"Brian!" Lauren tried to pull him back, grabbing onto his arm. He brushed her off and continued to advance on Darren, shoving him hard.

"YOU KNEW AND YOU STILL DID IT"

Darren pushed him back, as a malicious glare spread across his face. "Well, she came back for more, didn't she?! That's not my fault!"

"I only went over there to fix things between us!" Lauren answered in alarm.

"And she kissed me back!" Darren continued, ignoring Lauren and continuing to glare at Brian.

"Darren, I told you it doesn't mean anything to me!" Lauren told him

"It must have meant something to her too Brian, she let me make out with her!"

Lauren stared at him in shock. _Really? He's going to try and blame this entire thing on me?_

"So what Darren? Do you think this is okay?"

"Well-"

"You think you'll be let off, if you try and pin the blame on Lauren huh?! Is that it?!

Darren remained silent this time, but his facial expression remained constant.

"YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE OUT WITH MY PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND?! YOU THINK THAT'S OKAY?!"

"Brian!" Lauren gasped looking around at her friends, absolutely gobsmacked.

"What?!" Jaime gasped and the other StarKids looked at Lauren in shock.

"After everything we've been through. I can't believe you would do this." Brian continued, completely ignoring his other friends, softening his voice but glaring darkly into Darren's eyes. Brian turned and started to head out of the auditorium, but stopped just before he reached the door, and turned back to face him again. "I can't believe you wanted to hurt me like this. I thought our friendship meant more than that." and with that, threw open the doors and stormed out.

No one moved for a moment, but continued to staring at the door and at Lauren in complete silence. Finally, Lauren looked around awkwardly before beginning to head out of the auditorium after him without saying a word.

"Lauren, wait" Darren said grabbing her arm. She shook him off instantly and shot him a dirty look.

"No! Darren." She continued quickly back up the hall and burst through the doors into the cold night air.

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**OOOH So a lot of Drama huh? LOVE YOU GUYS! Too soon? okay I'm sorry...**


	28. Chapter 28

***creeps in from around the corner* Hi guys. Okay, to start off I am SOOOO sorry about how long this has taken to upload. I'm in year 12 (senior year) and lets just say school is successfully destroying my social life at the moment (what social life?) BUT here is the next installment! I'll have the next one up as soon as I can. Thanks so much for sticking with this story for so long. 28 chapters is a lot! In view of recent events I just wanted to say that I love you all. You guys are Totally Awesome, and seriously mean so much to me.**

**Okay Without further ado, chapter 28 :) **

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Lauren looked around desperately trying to spot Brian, but she couldn't see him. It was dark outside, and bitterly cold. She regretted not bringing a jacket with her. Brian had actually recommended she grab one on her way out, but she thought she knew better, as usual. She got snappy sometimes, especially when she was told what to do. Maybe it was her way of proving she could be self-sufficient, despite her small size, but she couldn't focus on that at the moment. She needed to find Brian. She squinted, straining her eyes through the darkness along the road in front of her. She could hardly see the end of it, as the majority of the stationed street lamps weren't working.

"Brian?" She called out but no one answered her. She sighed heavily as she ran down the steps out the front of the theatre and spun around desperately looking in all directions, until her eyes landed on a large park. But it wasn't just any park. That was the park they stopped at, almost a month ago. Where they talked everything out; where they officially became an item. It was their park, and she knew instantly that Brian would be there.

Lauren stared at the entrance of the park for a moment before she headed over to it. She couldn't believe she hadn't realized before, how close they were to where it all started. Lauren entered the park and looked around. She spotted him sitting at a park bench with his head in his hands.

He looked so broken; so defeated. She'd never seen him like that before, and it broke her heart, knowing that she was the cause of it. She approached him cautiously, and quietly sat down beside him. He didn't look up, or acknowledge her at all, so she sat in silence and watched his body move in time with his heavy breathing.

"Brian…I'm so, so sorry…" She said in a soft voice after what felt like an hour in complete silence.

Brian remained silent, but sighed deeply at her remark. They sat like that for a few moments more before Brian finally sat up, leaning back against the bench, staring straight ahead. Lauren watched him closely. His eyes were red and puffy and it hurt her to see it. Brian sighed again before saying "I'm sorry I lost control in there… the others shouldn't have found out like that."

Relieved to hear him speak, Lauren answered almost instantly. "They had to find out at some point…." She replied softly. She spoke so quietly, and he could sense the fear in her voice.

The two fell silent once again. Lauren wanted to say something, but she really didn't know what. Honestly, the way he acted in the auditorium had shocked her. She'd never seen him so violent; it just wasn't who he was. Although, it was comforting to see how much she really meant to him.

"Did they say anything when I left?" He asked her, looking straight ahead.

"No" She answered. "We just stood there silently before I came out to look for you…"

Brian nodded in response but didn't say anything else. Lauren continued to watch him closely. She couldn't read his expression. She had no idea what he was thinking. His face was straight, and his eyes were vacant. He seemed so deep in thought. Lauren wondered what was going through his mind and what he might say, but he said nothing, so she sat silently beside him, quietly panicking to herself about what would happen next.

Brian sighed again. He didn't know what to do. He was trying so hard to quiet his thoughts but everything was still spinning. He had no idea what to think. How exactly was he supposed to react? Darren was his oldest friend. And Lauren, the one person in the world he felt truly understood him. The girl he had loved for six years now. He just couldn't believe this was happening. Just when things were going so well, just when everything was going to work out and they were going to be happy; it just didn't seem fair. He noticed Lauren move in the corner of his eye and finally glanced slightly in her direction. She was shivering severely and her lips were beginning to turn an off shade of purple. It was a really cold night and he knew it would be. He'd warned her, but she hated being told what to do and she was so stubborn. Probably the most stubborn person he knew. Brian shook his head before leaning forward and taking off his own jacket. Lauren looked over as he moved and watched him. He placed the jacket on her shoulders before leaning back again, without meeting her eyes.

Lauren snuggled into the jacket. It was much too big for her, but it was warm, and comfortable and comforting. They sat quietly again before Brian finally cleared his throat to speak.

"I'm… I'm struggling to understand a lot of things right now…and… unless I say something now…we'll probably sit here in silence for the rest of the night."

Lauren watched him silently as he continued. "Here's the thing… I love you. I'm in love with you…I have been for six years. I've never felt this way about someone before… and I guess… I guess I used to believe that you felt the same way."

"But I do! I love you so much…"

"See, I don't think you do… at least not as much as I love you. That much is clear."

Lauren's eyes widened as he said this. "How can you say that? You know I love-"

"Just… just let me talk okay?" He interrupted. "I blame Darren for what happened, but what he said had some truth to it. If you really did love me, as much as I love you, as much as you say you do, you wouldn't have done it. You wouldn't have kissed him. I know because I would never do that to you."

"Brian…" Lauren started but her eyes began to tear up again as her breathing became ragged. "It was a mistake…I don't know what happened. I don't love him. I love you..."

"Lauren, you know… I can't stop picturing you with him… and… You have no idea how much it kills me."

Lauren didn't say anything. Her eyes had gone blurry from her tears, but she knew she deserved to sit there and take everything he was saying. He had been nothing but faithful, loving and devoted since they started this relationship.

"I just… I don't understand, Lauren…" He sighed as his voice broke slightly. He felt his eyes tear up slightly, but breathed in deeply to calm himself. He didn't want to cry in front of her. "I don't understand why you did it." He continued. "I mean, it's one thing that he kissed you, but you kissed him back. You made out with my best friend. Did you even consider how that would affect me? Did you think of me at all?"

"I …I don't know what happened... My mind was thinking of you, and I tried to stop…but it was like, I was just… caught up in the moment… I don't know… but, it wasn't the same as when I'm with you. It felt empty. It didn't feel right so I pulled away. I don't love him."

"You say you don't love him… but I can't understand why you'd kiss him back if you didn't have some feelings for him. He'd already kissed you once. Shouldn't that have been enough?"

"Brian." She pivoted in her seat and grabbed his arm, looking into his eyes. "I don't know what I was thinking… I really don't but I'm positive I don't want to be with him. All this time, all I've wanted was to be with you. You don't know how much I regret going over there. I wish I could take it back, but I can't."

Brian sighed in response. "Lauren, that's all well and good, but you don't have a reason for kissing him. You keep saying you don't know, right? If you had no reason this time, you won't need one next time. How do I know that won't happen again?"

Lauren didn't answer.

"It's so hard… I love you so much, and I'm ready to spend my life with you…but what's the point if I can't trust you?"

"But Brian-" She started.

"I mean…. I'm not going to control you Lauren. I can't forbid you to see him again. I'm not going to lock you in the house. Am I supposed to ban you from hanging out with other guys? No. That's not who I am, and no one deserves that. So what am I supposed to do? How was I supposed to react?"

"Brian, you have to believe me, I didn't want this. I want you and only you. I promise it won't happen again."

"But how do _I_ know that? I believed that before, and look where we are now."

"Brian. I love you. I love you and I want to have this baby with you. I want to raise a family with you. You wanted that too right?"

"I… I really don't know what to think anymore"

Lauren stopped as tears fell from her eyes. _No… no, he couldn't be saying this._  
"Brian…"

"You know, I think…." He looked at her, just for a moment as his eyes held the gaze of her large brown ones. She looked so scared and it hurt him too much to look at her, so he looked away before continuing. "I think I need a break…"

Lauren shook her head as she let out a sob. "You can't mean that"

Brian stood up, without making eye contact. He sighed heavily as the pain in his chest deepened. He closed his eyes tightly in an attempt to stop himself from crying. He didn't want to leave her. He just needed to figure things out. And he couldn't do it here. "I do." He said in a husky voice. He glanced only a small moment at Lauren, long enough to see her broken gaze before turning and leaving the park as a single tear finally fell from his eye.

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**I'm so sorry, please don't kill me.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hi guys! Well its been a while, but come one, it's way better than waiting two months like last time, am I right? Hahaha... yeah. You're not still mad are you? Sorry about the last chapter. I know I crushed some feels... Anyway, here is the next chapter! It's kind of long and a lot of it is a filler chapter, but I hope you enjoy none the less! I'll be working on the next few chapters, but I'm smack bang in the middle of exams right now, so they probably won't be up for a while. Also I want to say a quick HI! To my new followers, thanks so much! I'm glad you're enjoying this story. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I means so much and really motivates me to write more chapters! And as always, thanks to all of you who have stuck with this story from the beginning. I love you all. xxx**

**Now to the chapter!**

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Lauren watched Brian leave the park and watched his shape until it disappeared from behind the trees. She didn't call out after him. She didn't have the strength to. She was so cold and was starting to feel the harsh wind even through Brian's jacket which she still clung to. She felt her heart breaking as realization hit her. He left her. He was gone.

She understood why it was called that; _Heartbreak_. She thought she had felt it before, but not like this. She could feel her chest tightening in on its self; a deep pain in her heart as she sobbed uncontrollably. She couldn't believe he was gone. What would this mean for her? What would it mean for her baby? She couldn't do this alone. She'd already lost Julia, and now Brian. She sighed shakily as she pulled her legs up onto the seat, hugging them close to her chest and cried into her knees.

It felt like she had sat there in the wind for hours. She was so cold, but she didn't want to move. Her mind was racing, so much that her thoughts were blurring into one. What would she do now? How would she even get home? The streets were empty at this time of night, and even if there was a cab, she didn't have the money to pay for it. The other Starkids would probably be leaving rehearsal now, but she didn't feel like she could face them. Not right now. She couldn't deal with having to answer all of those questions. Her breathing was still uneven, and as much as she wanted to stop crying, her tears kept coming. She closed her eyes tighter, squeezing her legs.

Suddenly a hand touched her shoulder and her head shot up in alarm, only to see Meredith's comforting smile. When she'd approached her, or even entered the park, Lauren didn't know. She didn't move, but watched as Meredith squeezed her shoulder gently, and sat down beside her without saying a word. Lauren began to sob into her hands, and Meredith put an arm around her, letting her cry in silence. It was a comforting presence. Lauren hadn't realised how much she needed a friend to sit with her. Not for them to talk to her or to try and pry details of what happened out of her, but to be there, just be there so she didn't feel so alone.

After about half an hour, once Lauren had calmed down a little more, she finally spoke.

"How did you know where to find me?" She asked in almost a whisper.

"After rehearsal, I was heading back to my car but noticed Brian's was still there. He was just sitting there, for how long, I have no idea… but as I passed, he got out and called me over. He said that you'd probably still be here and that you'd probably need a ride home…"

Lauren nodded as her eyes filled with tears again at the mention of his name, and Meredith pulled her into a tight hug. She could feel her shivering underneath Brian's coat. The wind was becoming really harsh now and Lauren was probably close to freezing point, so after a moment, she stood up before speaking again. "Come on, let's get out of here."

Lauren sighed. She was absolutely freezing but she didn't want to leave. She wasn't sure why. Maybe a part of her felt like if she stayed there Brian would come back for her and they could work everything out. Maybe, she just didn't feel like she could force conversation with Meredith at the moment, not that she was being pushy or anything. Lauren stood up slowly, however, knowing all too well that Meredith wouldn't take no for an answer, and the two of them left the park, and headed towards Meredith's car.

Lauren sat quietly, still crying in the passenger seat. Meredith had turned the heater on in the car, which Lauren very much appreciated. She was beginning to realise how stupid she had been, wanting to stay out in the cold. The car ride was long, and miserable. Not because of Meredith, of course. She was starting to make Lauren feel a little better. She hadn't asked her about the pregnancy, or about Brian, or about what happened with Darren. She was just there, and it's really what Lauren needed right now.

The car finally came to a stop outside Lauren's building, and Meredith began to park it.

"You don't have to come in; I know you probably want to get home." Lauren sniffed. Her voice wavered, from her uneven breathing, and her eyes were still watery and somewhat bloodshot from the excessive crying.

Meredith looked at her incredulously. "Lauren, don't be ridiculous. I'm coming in. Like I'm going to drop you off and go, come on"

Lauren smiled weakly at Meredith, before they both got out of the car and headed up to Lauren's apartment. The climb felt longer and much more tiring than it usually did. Her feet felt heavy, and her head was beginning to hurt, so when they finally made it to the apartment, Lauren was relieved to be able to sit down again.

Meredith ordered her into the lounge room, let herself into the kitchen and began preparing a mug of hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows for Lauren. She wasn't positive what had happened between her and Brian, or even her and Darren, but what she did know, was that Lauren needed a friend, and she was going to be there for her. Meredith wasn't sure how to make Lauren feel better, especially as she didn't really know the details of what happened, but hot chocolate always seemed to help when _she_ felt down, so she decided it was worth a shot.

When she came back into the lounge room she saw Lauren curled up in a ball, once again crying into her knees. She sighed as she walked over to her and sat down beside her.

"Hey..." she said gently, putting the hot mug down on the coffee table. She put an arm on her shoulder, and rubbed her back softly until she finally looked up. "I made you some hot chocolate..." Meredith said kindly, smiling at Lauren. "It has tiny marshmallows in it!" She added, in an overly enthusiastic voice which made Lauren smile.

"Thanks Meredith." Lauren smiled. She picked up the small pink mug and just held it for a moment, soaking in the warmth of the cup and smelling the sweet chocolate scent. It really was the perfect drink for a night like this.

"I'm here for you Lauren. Seriously, whatever you need." She replied.

Lauren smiled, as another tear fell from her eye. She couldn't help it. What was she going to do? She was going to have this baby alone. She couldn't do it alone.

"Shhh, hey..." Meredith lulled, putting her arm around her again and hugging her tightly. "Do you want to talk about it?

Lauren didn't move for a moment. She shook her head, before changing her mind and looking up at Meredith.

"Yeah..." She sniffed, drying her eyes with the sleave of her top.

Meredith nodded and rubbed her arm reassuringly.

Lauren sighed before starting. "Okay... I don't even know where to begin..."

"Okay, well can I just ask, how long have you known that you were pregnant?" Meredith asked. "Its kinda big news..."

"Right... well you know that day I left the band practice early?"

Meredith's eyes went wide as everything clicked. "OH! That sickness you had! Morning sickness?"

Lauren nodded. "Well I was missing my cues and stuffing everything up because, I just couldn't focus. I was almost a week late, and I was already getting symptoms like being extra tired, and sick and all I could think about was whether or not I was pregnant, and what Brian would think if I was. I got a pregnancy test a few days beforehand, but when I got home, I decided that I really just needed to know." She explained. She took a small sip of the hot chocolate and put the mug back down on the coffee table.

Meredith nodded again. "I feel so bad for getting annoyed with you... I wish you'd told me you were going through this..."

"No one knew. Not even Julia knew. But when I found out she came in and saw the stick. I told Brian, and he freaked out at first, but then he was so supportive, and started taking extra hours at work and everything. Then when Darren arrived at our first rehearsal, he told me he loved me, and kissed me."

"Well did he know about you and Brian?" Meredith asked

Lauren shook her head. "Not at first. I pushed him away and told him everything. He didn't take it well, and ended up storming off. That's why Brian and I left rehearsal early."

"So is that what all the screaming was about earlier? Tonight at rehearsal I mean."

Lauren shook her head as her eyes started to water again. "Um….no...no not quite...um...well I went over to see Darren the next day, after I found out that Joe invited him to stay at his apartment. I wanted to make sure everything was okay between us. I guess here's where things get so fucked up even I can't understand it. We were talking and I...I don't know what happened...he...well, he eventually kissed me again..."

"WHAT! But he knew about you and Brian! He knew you were pregnant with Brian's baby! Why would he do that? GOD, that's not like Darren at all! What a jerk! Wait 'till I get my hands on him!" Meredith's face was full of outrage. It reminded Lauren of Brian's reaction. The way his eyes changed so quickly from shock, to hurt, to anger and she remembered the look of betrayal in his eyes. Lauren felt her eyes blur with tears again, so she breathed deeply before shaking her head and looking away from Meredith.

"Well it wasn't all him... I mean… I kissed him back..."

"You kissed him back?!"

"Well we… we kind of made out..." Lauren replied, feeling so ashamed of herself. _What must Meredith think of me now? I'm literally the most disgusting excuse for a human being._

"Wait, Lauren...I don't... I thought you loved Brian..."

Lauren started to sob again, running her hands through her hair. "I do... I love him so much, and that's why it hurts so much... I was caught up in the heat of the moment...he was so charming, and he was saying all of these things...I don't know...maybe for a moment I thought there might be something between us, but it felt wrong…. and I pulled back."

Meredith remained silent, watching Lauren, waiting for her to continue, but she didn't. She continued to sob into her hands, so Meredith put an arm around her, hugging her gently from the side before speaking.

"Hey…. Shhh….hey…Lo...it's...it's not your fault... he's just good at getting what he wants. He's very…he's very charming… I don't think there's any one of us that hasn't fallen for his charms at least once…"

"Yeah but you weren't with someone. You weren't in love with someone else. You weren't pregnant Meredith. You weren't pregnant with someone else's child." She sobbed in reply.

Meredith didn't know what to say. She hadn't expected everything to be so messed up. Lauren was sobbing uncontrollably again, so she pulled her into a tight hug and let her cry into her shoulder, rubbing her back, offering her the occasional lulling sounds in an attempt to calm her down.

The two of them sat like that until Lauren eventually calmed down again. Her breathing was still uneven but she'd stopped crying. She pulled away from Meredith and leaned back against the back of the couch. Meredith didn't say anything, but watched her for a moment. Her eyes were red and watery. She didn't give her any eye contact, but stared straight ahead, her eyes vacant. Meredith sighed to herself. She'd never seen Lauren so upset. She was such a strong person. It was clear how much Lauren hated herself for what happened. _She must really, really love Brian._

Lauren let out another shaky sigh, snapping Meredith out of her thoughts.

"I can't do this Meredith…." Lauren whispered. "I can't do this by myself…."

"Lo, what do you mean?"

Lauren shook her head looking down into her lap, but didn't answer her.

"Lauren…." Meredith was worried now. "Lo….what… what happened tonight? Where's Brian?"

"He left." She replied. Her eyes were still watery and her voice wavered as she spoke, but she continued and pushed through her explanation before she started to cry again. "He was just… confused, and I don't blame him…. I don't blame him at all. I blame myself. He couldn't understand why I did it, and I couldn't give him a reason…. he didn't know how he'd be able to trust me after that… So he left."

"Oh Lauren…. I'm so sorry" Meredith said softly rubbing her arm as she cried again. Meredith breathed deeply, trying not to cry herself

"I just…. I can't believe it's over…." Her stomach hurt so much from crying and she bent forward slightly, wrapping her arms around her stomach as she did so. "I….I can't do this… I need him."

Meredith pulled her into another hug, holding her tightly as she sobbed.

"I'm…. Meredith I'm so scared. I don't want to have this baby alone. I can't do it by myself. I'm…. I'm not strong enough…"

"Lauren." Meredith replied, putting her at arm's length and looking into her eyes. "You're the strongest person I know. You can do this. I know you can. And you don't honestly think that we're going to leave you to fend for yourself, do you? You're not alone Lauren. I'm not going anywhere, and neither are Jaime and Julia…"

"Julia won't help." She cut her off with a sob. "She won't even speak to me."

"Lo, she's your best friend. Why wouldn't she help?"

"I….. After I pulled away from Darren, I turned to leave but Julia was standing in the doorway. She must have seen everything... She stormed out and I haven't spoken to her or hardly seen her since then. She won't return any of my calls…I don't know where she is…. Or why she keeps ignoring my texts…."

"She's been hanging out at my apartment." Meredith replied, an expression of realisation dawning on her face. "She just said that the two of you had a huge fight, but didn't say anything else."

Lauren sighed as she started to sob again. "I miss her Mer, and I know she hates me, but I need her..."

"Lauren, she loves you, don't worry, she'll come around." Meredith smiled warmly at her, and she returned it slightly.

"But in the meantime," she continued "I suggest you finish that hot chocolate before it turns into an ice block in this apartment, and get to bed. You look like you're about to freeze over."

Lauren smiled a little brighter at Meredith and nodded. "Thanks for being here Mer. I really needed a friend with me."

"Lo don't worry about it. I'll always be here for you."

* * *

**So yeah, I know it was kinda depressing... But still, please let me know what you thought! :D xxx**


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